I am kayak, hear me roar.

I am alive.

2010-03-14T15:06:00.004-04:00

I don't know how many times I have to say I am a bad blogger. But I am. Plus, I'm too lazy to go back and link to my posts where I state I am a bad blogger. I am double bad!

Lots of things are going on right now. My priority is to FINALLY finish school. I've been dragging my butt for months now and it's time to kick said butt and polish everything off. I can say I honestly hate school. If I could go back I wouldn't do this again. I don't want to get into any details, but....HATE.

Yet, despite that hate I am so freakin' happy with life right now.

Once I get school finished, (we are talking mere weeks folks!) I should get back to more regular blogging. Theoretically. Maybe.

Uh....

2009-11-30T18:14:00.003-05:00

I got back to my apartment from Thanksgiving. There is a pumpkin sitting kinda on my walkway. More on my walkway than the neighbor's walkway, but we'll just call it a gray area.

Now, most people would just say "DUH...leftover from Halloween." BUT! 1) it was not there BEFORE I went to my parent's house for Thanksgiving 2) it is not carved and 3) it has two large screws in the back.

Now the neighbor currently has a Christmas wreath up, so I'm not sure if it is theirs or not.

So the questions are: whose pumpkin is it? where did it come from? and why?

Just one of the ways I make myself crazy...

2009-10-12T07:07:00.000-04:00

How do you know if you are being too picky?

I am one who doesn't believe in settling for things in life, but also that you can't be unrealistic either. Currently, I don't know (1) if I am being too picky on several fronts. For once I am going to be a little detail-y.

SHOCKING! GASP! FAINT!

I think just right now my honest answer to 99.967929874% of questions asked of me right now is "I don't know. (2)" I have a wide variety of things on my brain occupying my thought capacity that I don't think I have the brain power to be too vague and dodgy. The path of least resistance is being as forthcoming as I feel comfortable doing on the interwebs.

I am looking for a job. I am trolling through a couple of my-type-of-job-posting sites regularly. Several I can eliminate because I am not qualified. Those are easy. Some I can eliminate because oops! I missed the application deadline (damn you three-year-job in Hawaii!). But others that I am not applying to, I am starting to wonder what point I am just being too damn picky.

One I balked at over the location. It's not a bad location, per se. But...I just didn't know (3). It was in a small town, kinda between two modest size cities. I briefly asked a friend about it and their thought was that I would be miserable because of the location. I can't say if I would or wouldn't. But I decided not to apply because of the location.

Is that being too picky? I have said I will go where I can get a job. What if that is a job I could have gotten? The job itself was appealing, the location...I don't know (4). I sometimes wonder if I should just apply to everything I am qualified for, even if I get through the interviewing process I don't have to take a job.

Boys. We're not talking about me dating anyone, but just, you know, seeing what's out there. But those that know me/read my blog regularly/are stalking me know about a very very bad horrible stupid relationship. I fully admit to mucho stupidity on my part. I don't want to be THAT stupid again. But now...I feel like the most trivial thing turns me away. I feel like red flags are going up all over the place. I wonder if I am being over cautious so I don't miss any red flags. But then I wonder if I'm just looking for something wrong. Or am I just being true to what I want and don't want?

I. DON'T. KNOW. (5)

This just gets me nowhere. It's a general question I can't answer...and there is probably not an answer to it. I can argue for and against myself. I'm too picky. I'm not too picky. Back and Forth. Round and Round. I'm starting to feel the metaphorical motion sickness.

I feel like I know what I want with things. There are some things I feel are non-negotiable and I am fine with that. But everything else seems to fall into a gray area. I have my preferences but not necessarily concrete thoughts. It's these areas that are causing the mayhem for me. So how do you know you are being too picky?

DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!

2009-09-14T08:30:00.000-04:00

For those that don't know...that's a LOST quote. AND it works into the subject of this blog post/rant.

I hate when people make statements about how my life is going to be. It's not that those statements are true/false, it's just that...don't even try to dictate how my life is going to go (emphasis of the you vs. MY LIFE).

Here is a big one for me at this time: where I will be in 2010. Personally, I have no idea. But at least others have firm opinions for me. Thanks, assbags! And those opinions go both ways. I will either be right where I am or not. I am stupid for wanting to stay. I am stupid for wanting to leave. Right now, there is not a clear winner in the pro/con list of staying vs. going. I think the winning tick might be "place where I have a job." I know that this isn't special to me. I know others have been through similar situations where everyone else has a firm opinion of what you should think.

If it was JUST the topic of my geographical location in 2010, I think I'd be fine with it. I could just roll my eyes and ignore them. But they start sneaking other areas of my life into their opinions. Personal areas of my life. Especially the subject of my dating/lack of dating life.

I've been told I essentially shouldn't bother dating because I will be leaving soon. I have been told I should only look for short term relationships because I will be leaving soon (which in general..no). I have been told I should live in some sparsely-populated, cold-as-balls state because I am single (the logic for this one is that the cost of living is SO LOW I could buy a huge house with lots of land...because, apparently, single females around 30 can't buy houses otherwise..and apparently we want acres of land). I have been told I should look in large cities because I am single. I should look up north, south, west coast, east coast, midwest, foreign countries. On and on and on.

What if I find someone I like? Is that going to mean I won't move? No. What if I find no one I like? Is that going to mean I am not going to stay? No. Where I will be in 2010 is going to be a complex decision, which I will spend time thinking about and deciding what is right for me and how it fits what I want with my life. Radical concept, I know.

Generally, I realize that people are just trying to help and who doesn't love sharing their (assumed proper) opinion on things? However, these people need to realize that they might not know exactly what I want and what I am looking for...and sometimes, I might not be sure myself. So let me be and don't be surprised if I give you a smartass comment to your views on my life (including, but not limited to: SHUT IT).

Q & A: Update

2009-09-13T09:02:00.001-04:00

In case anyone cares....

I was going to contact this person and see if we could develop a friendship again.

Then I came to my senses and realized that my gut reaction was to just try to get an answer to a question, not try to restart the friendship. I was letting the emotion of it all get to me.

And I am totally happy and at peace with that decision. For those who know me via Facebook...I realize now I dodged a bullet.

Q & A

2009-09-10T07:46:00.000-04:00

I am the type of person who likes to know answers to things. I want to know the who, what, where and why. I like to know what is going on...it's just how I am.

You know how sometimes relationships with other people just seem to implode out of nowhere? It seems one minute everything is good and the next you apparently have become mortal enemies. When it seems to come out of left field you are often left wondering "W.T.F.?"

So remember how I mentioned I liked to know what went on? Well I am the type that wants to know what happened. It's not even a case I want to mend the friendship...just what happened?

So there had been a friendship that seemed to just stop out of nowhere. Things seemed ok on my end and then BAM! I never heard a peep out of them again. I tried. I waited. Nothing. Eventually I had to let it go, I can't sustain a friendship where the other party refuses to play.

Well, by random circumstances I was given a potential window of contact. I gave it a shot but didn't think they would reply...but they did.

And honestly, getting a response about what happened was so much worse than just the outright apathy of not responding. I mean, horrible, sitting there bawling my eyes out worse. The reason was so stupid, so pointless. It would have been better had they said that they just decided I was the biggest asshole or most moronic person they ever met...something else.

I had prepared myself for a response along those lines. Something that would be negative for me. I was sure it was either going to be no response or an asshole response...and I worded my contact accordingly. I was just protecting myself; drawing a line in the sand to let them know I was on a fact-finding mission only. I wasn't trying to get their friendship back. But my reaction to their response....I do want it back. I didn't want it to end.

But is it too late? I don't know if I can go back. I don't know if I should try to go back. I want to go back. I know any window for trying to go back is going to end soon.

I just don't know what to do. I already know what steps I will take if I decide to try to build our friendship back up. But should I?

Owwwww....my stomach lining!

2009-09-05T10:49:00.006-04:00

It is crunch time for me. Right now I need to hunker down and just become a frenzy of productivity. So, naturally, I want to just sit on my ass and watch TV.

I know what I need to do. I know I can do it. I just need to do it. It's really simple, actually. So what's on my major to-do list (anyone who knows me and my anal retentive tendencies and my love of making lists, and to-do lists and to-do lists for to-do lists....I am talking about a short, MAJOR THINGS I NEED TO DO list). So my MAJOR THINGS I NEED TO DO LIST:

Finish experiments
Finish writing thesis
Finish job application (which I don't want to give details on this...but really...DREAM JOB)

But of course I feel lazy. And I feel blah. I'm not sick...just been a lazy asshole really. And I'm feeling it. So in the midst of getting my butt in gear to finish the MAJOR THINGS I NEED TO DO list, I'm also going to be working on the not-feeling-like-ass thing too. And really, in this time of nicole-needs-to-be-busy, the more busy I am, the better. It's one of those things where as long as I don't have time to sit on my laurels, I won't sit on my laurels.

So...the not feeling like ass thing. Basically it's a simple, two-part system. 1) Stop eating like crap and 2) Actually use my gym membership. Radical, I know.

The gym thing is self explanatory. It's called actually stepping foot inside the gym. The stop eating like crap thing is more to quit stuffing myself at some meals and to eat a little more balanced. Which usually I can do just by cooking more of my meals. To get myself a kickstart on that, I am going to blog my meals for a week. I'm sure there will be mass anticipation to see what sandwich I eat for lunch every day.

For my jump back into cooking, I am going to try one new recipe for each "meal" of the day (over the course of the week...not everyday). So you will see some repeats (leftovers) and some more boring meals. But my loyal blog reader(s) love(s) me and will just suck it up.

Now, I don't want to turn my blog into a food blog. Despite my apparent attempts to do so. I am too lazy to want to make sure I cook or bake something interesting and photograph it and write about it on a regular basis. So if anyone stumbles onto my blog thinking I'm a foodie...sorry! But I will tell you what I ate, try to include a photo and tell you what I thought of my meal.

I haven't been blogging at all lately. But hey...at least it's something.

Sometimes things don't go as planned...

2009-08-16T11:31:00.005-04:00

You know that super secret project I've been working on? Yeah. Didn't turn out as well as I hoped.

I was making cupcakes for a picnic that I have been looking forward to since, oh, March. It was for the Seminole Club I'm a member of and I had envisioned cupcakes with garnet and gold frosting (FSU's colors) with little chocolate spears on them.

Now, they tasted delicious. I LOVE the chocolate cupcake recipe I have. And the vanilla one is solid too. I tried a new frosting recipe (that required a $12 bottle of vanilla bean paste that I got at William Sonoma...if anyone knows of a cheaper place to get it...let me know. Because that stuff IS DA BOMB).

I vetoed the chocolate spears because of time constraints. Which is fine. They just wouldn't be UBER fancy/fun. I decided to do a swirl of the garnet and gold frosting which requires putting both frostings in a pastry bag, one on each side. Which...the pastry bags I have were too small to really do this easily...but really...it is going to slightly mix and swirl so that is ok. BUT...I managed to put a hole in the pastry bag so as I was piping my swirled dollops of frosting, I had a MAJOR leakage of frosting. Most of the cupcakes just got one color or the other. The ones that got the swirl looked good, but I got no pictures because I was in such a rush yesterday!

Plus, I had some cupcakes leftover. Alot of ones with the garnet frosting. Which required TONS of gel frosting dye to get a dark enough (ie not pinkish) color. Which means the frosting stains like you wouldn't believe (or...you might). Like...your hands, your tongue, your teeth...EVERYTHING. Those went into the trash.

Alas, had I had more time I think they would have turned out better. But it was a good trial run and I do love making cupcakes! I did learn this: when your cupcakes are going to be in a warm environment...make your frosting a little more hefty! It will still probably melt and run...but you might get a little more time of them looking purdy.

Ahem...

2009-08-04T21:46:00.003-04:00

For anyone who regulary checks my blog, you may have noticed that it was listed as private for awhile (Joy and Heather noticed). Alas, I just needed to edit a few posts (and by edit I mean delete).

See...one day I was innocently googling. We all do it. I was seeing if I could find FSU cupcake liners. So I googled "FSU cupcake liner." My blog came up as #4 on the list. Which 1) weee! and 2) uhhhh. Also...I found no FSU cupcake liners.

This got me to thinking how innocently I stumbled upon my own blog. And how if specific people stumbled on my blog they could probably figure out my covert names for people. So I have removed certain posts from my blog and they will never to be spoken about again. Mmmkay?

Also, I might remove a couple of more if I see fit. But there is no need to go private or anything.

Just thought you should know!

A project...part 2

2009-07-19T09:42:00.002-04:00

Steps Completed

Step 1: find and try vanilla and chocolate cupcake recipes

Step 2: get non-food items needed

now...with step 3: do I want to stick to a classic buttercream or try a frosting that allegedly tastes "just like vanilla ice cream"?

A project...

2009-07-18T13:45:00.001-04:00

Steps Completed

Step 1: find and try vanilla and chocolate cupcake recipes

Five-fer Friday: Things that bother me

2009-07-10T17:34:00.005-04:00

Today's five-fer are some things that bother me. I feel like I've done this list (or something very similar) before. But I've been at work for 10.5 hours and still have another 90 minutes to go and I don't care to check.

1. Pushing my own cuticles back: No. I mean, someone else can push them back and I am fine...but not me. Speaking of things I won't do to myself...

2. Flossing my teeth: me or no one else is sticking string between my teeth. Ew. I am ok with the water pick...that thing is pretty awesome once you learn to use it without water spraying everywhere (secret: KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED WHEN IT IS ON)

3. Angus Young of AC/DC and his school boy uniform: Don't get me wrong, AC/DC and Angus Young are awesome, but I am going to need therapy after seeing just pictures of him in the outfit. Plus, he still partially strips during his concerts. Yeesh.

4. Constant Facebook updates: Two things...
a. no one cares that you are going home to eat dinner and watch tv or whatever it is that you do EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. No one cares enough to know what you are doing every minute of every day. Seriously. No one. If you update it more than once per day on a regular basis...you need a life.
b. another thing I dislike is people who constantly post "new" status updates every couple of hours. Except they are the same update slightly reworded or changed to modify that you already ate lunch instead of heading out to lunch.

5. Feet on dashboards: one day this is going to elicit a violent reaction out of me. I don't have some foot phobia but I get so skeeved and irritated when I see OTHER vehicles and people with their feet on the dashboard. It doesn't matter if they are bare or sock-covered feet. NO NO NO NO NO. If anyone ever tries that mess in my Bonnie, you will be slapped and then forced to exit the vehicle. I don't care if it is 3am in the middle of BFE. You will be banished.

Blog Break

2009-05-03T07:58:00.000-04:00

I am taking a blog break. Don't know when I'll be back.

As I am writing this, I have a few blogs that are half written that I will finish up and schedule for posting. Once all the scheduled posts are up, this will follow.

Right now I just don't really care about posting or writing blogs, so I'm not.

Five-fer Friday: Countdown to Reunion #3

2009-05-01T06:23:00.001-04:00

The last installment in the reunion-theme five-fers. This is the top 5 TV shows of 1998!

Seinfeld
ER
Veronica's Closet
Friends
Monday Night Football

Now I'm off to the reunion!

Nicole vs. Cupcake #3: A whole bunch of crap

2009-04-28T06:55:00.000-04:00

This cupcake is a mish-mash of things I wanted to try.

First I saw rainbow cupcakes. I had several boxes of cake mix sitting around (they were on sale at the Teeter recently), so I figured I could use my gel icing colors to dye the cake batter and not fuss with also trying a made-from-scratch cake.

Second, I wanted to try a new frosting (plain buttercream is alright....). The author of this blog I think also feels "ehh" about buttercream (it's too, too sweet for me). And she swears this stuff is the bomb-shizzle. Originally I was going to make a chocolate frosting whenever I made the yellow cake (because nicole loves her some yellow cake + chocolate frosting) but figured the brown of the chocolate frosting might be a little...iffy...with the rainbow extravaganza. So I will just try the vanilla frosting.

Thirdly, I was using a butter (yellow) cake with a vanilla frosting, so I thought I could also throw in a little chocolate...in the form of making hi-hats. I decided only to do half with the hi-hats so I have a side-by-side comparison.

I guess you could call these "Rainbow Cupcakes with Vanilla Swiss Meringue Butter Cream...some with Formal Wear"

I didn't take any pictures of the colored cake batter. It was a bit time consuming (not hard, but it takes more effort than just plopping the cake batter into cupcake pans...you have to color several small batches of cake batter then plop it into said cupcake pans). Here is what I did with the colors:

I used the wilton gel icing colors. If you want to make a rainbow of colors you could get away with just buying a red, yellow and blue (and make orange, green and purple). I happened to have green as well, so I used that instead of making it.
I used a toothpick to dip into the gel colors and then swirled the toothpick into the portion of cake batter to distribute it. You can always add more color but you can't take away color, so it is best to start gradually
I divided the batter (Betty Crocker Super Moist Butter Yellow cake mix--I didn't have any white cake mix, but this definitely needs to be done with "lighter" color batters) into pretty equal portions, but if you want more of one color, divide it however you like.
red (wilton no taste red)
equal-ish amounts of red + yellow (wilton lemon yellow)= orange
yellow
green (wilton leaf green), alternately, you could do blue + yellow
blue (wilton royal blue)
two parts red + one part blue = purple (I found that equalish amounts of blue and red gave a kinda greyish color.) This made it slightly less unappealing but we'll see what the color looks like baked up.
I started with the purple and went backwards through the rainbow. I just plopped the batter into the cupcake liners and two mini-round pans (so I can have a mini-cake...yay!) at random. I didn't try to be pretty or fancy or what not.

I baked per the package directions. Although they baked a little too long and are a little extra golden (brown...) so the exterior colors look a little wonky (I blame my insatiable blog reader(s) because I started writing this blog as they were baking and didn't realize what time it was!). Also, my mini-round pans domed like no body's business. My cupcakes also domed (beautifully) but the mini-rounds are ridiculous.

I don't know why the cupcake picture isn't turned. It is turned in my photo editing software. I did the same thing to the minicake photo as the cupcakes but only one turned. I just dunno. Also, ignore my dirty stove. Anywho. So I snacked on one of the minicakes during the day. It was good. Cake mix...hard to screw it up.

On Sunday I made the frosting. I wasn't sure if it would turn out because some people say they have issues getting it to be thick enough to pipe onto cupcakes, so I only made a half batch (the full batch requires 4 egg whites and 2 sticks of butter plus some sugar). I followed the directions on the website and it turned out well. Once the sugar/egg white mixture was ready I just threw it into the stand mixer and let it go for about 7 minutes. The stuff kinda looks like marshmallow fluff. I added in the butter and kept mixing and eventually the frosting started making this definite "slapping" sound so I knew it was ready.

The texture of this frosting is just silky. It's amazing. I have two notes about this recipe. It did take about 30 minutes from start to finish (not counting the time to warm the butter to room temp) with having to heat the egg white/sugar mixture and all the beating, so this isn't going to be a 5 minute-wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am frosting. Also, I used a suspiciously old stick of butter...and I can taste it in the frosting. The vanilla flavoring almost covers it. But lesson learned: DO NOT USE OLD SKANKY BUTTER FOR THIS RECIPE!!!! This made me glad that I did not make the full batch, but I will definitely be making this frosting again--and trying some flavored versions (like making strawberry SMBC but using my homemade strawberry jam instead of store bought stuff!)

This is a cross section of a frosted cupcake (I frosted a few for taste purposes--I mean...the cake might have also canceled out the wonky butter flavor--and to make the hi-hats since the chocolate might also help cancel out the wonky butter flavor). See the rainbow? FUN! It's hard to see the orange vs red in the photo..but they are both there. Now I don't know if I can handle having an un-dyed cake after this. It needs to be a color, if not multiple colors. I mean...look at it! It's just a box mix...but throw a little color in...and yipee!!!! Plus...I also have enough of the gel coloring to last me about 10 lifetimes.

The hi-hats were essentially chocolate mixed with a little oil. You dip the frosting of the cupcake in (or if you are insane the entire (unwrapped) cupcake) and wait until the chocolate set. The blog I got it off of said hers set in about 15 minutes. After 2 hours mine were firmer but still a bit soft. I don't know if it was a bit too warm or humid in my apartment, but I'm sure a quick trip into the fridge/freezer would solve that.

I thought the chocolate with the vanilla was lovely. Minus the wanky butter taste. The chocolate still couldn't cover that. But had this process been skunky-butter free these would have been totally delightful. Unfortunately the rest were thrown away. Next time...next time...

In summary:

rainbow cupcakes: a little extra work (and mess to clean up) but fun
swiss meringue butter cream frosting: fantastic--as long as you don't use wonky butter
hi-hats: great for a taste of chocolate

Road Trip: Part 4

2009-04-27T13:32:00.000-04:00

April 5, 2009--Drive back to NC

It was a pretty standard drive. Hit traffic a few times. Stopped at the world's slowest McDonald's. Blah Blah Blah.

This song is a good song to end the Road Trip posts on. It's called "Hymn to the Garnet and the Gold." It is not FSU's alma mater, but it should be.

Road Trip: Part 3

2009-04-26T09:12:00.000-04:00

Note from Nicole: When I went on this road trip and started writing up the posts about this road trip, I was in a much different emotional state. I still want to capture that state but some of the sadness and being miserable might be overshadowed by currently being happy. Also, I am getting bored with writing so many blogs lately, so I'm getting less type-y with them.

April 4, 2009--the Garnet vs. Gold game.

So I walk into the stadium. As I was walking to find a good place to find a seat I noticed that some of the concession stands were open. It was time for dinner! Another hotdog! (what? I had been on a major hotdog kick at the time and I was craving them all the time.) I got a seat like 4 rows up from the field. Shortly after I ate my hotdog, the fun began. First, they had the school's mascot, Renegade and Chief Osceola. He didn't throw the spear into the field (nor was the spear on fire), but I was glad that he was there! Next, the football team came out to start their warmups. I took most of the photos during warmups. I tried to get a good picture of Bobby Bowden, but he never came closer than midfield. I tried to get pictures of other coaches to varying success. Then I was just taking random photos.

I took a few during the game, but mostly I tried to watch the game rather than trying to time my photo to catch the action. I also took some photos of the post-game fireworks. I had wanted to record video of it, but I was having issues making my camera record (I have now figured it out and it's a little weird getting it started but now I know it is weird getting it started). I have put most of the photos I took into a slideshow featuring music from the Marching Chiefs (who were also at the game and I found out, the spring game is when they pick the new drum major, or at least that is what the women next to me said).

Now...sad girl status. I was happy to be at the game and I did enjoy it. But I felt like a complete loser that I was at the game alone. I had no one that wanted to go with me. Now, let me clarify I am meaning a difference between someone who would go with me vs. someone that wanted to go with me and wanted to go to the game. I still feel like a loser about that. Actually, that is a general loser theme in my life. Things I want to do, places I want to go, no one to go with.

Anywho... Without further ado, here is the video. The songs in the video are: FSU Cheer, Warchant and 4th Quarter Fanfare (all recorded by the 2000 Marching Chiefs).

Note#2 from Nicole: the video I made is slightly larger than blogger's size limit. I'm scheduling this blog to post without trimming the video down, so if there is no video here I didn't get to trimming it down.

Five-fer Friday: Countdown to Reunion #2

2009-04-24T09:54:00.001-04:00

Second part in a three part series. Part one was "top songs"

This Five-fer is going to chronicle the top 5 movies of my senior year of high school.*

Titanic (December 1997)
Men in Black (July 1997)
Saving Private Ryan (July 1997)
Armageddon (July 1997)
Air Force One (July 1997)

*I actually looked at the top grossing films from 1997/1998 and looked to make sure they were released from about July 1997-June 1998 (I included the summer before my senior year since lots of "blockbusters" are released in the summer...my list my rules)

Road Trip: Part 2

2009-04-21T08:38:00.000-04:00

Saturday, April 4, 2009--everything but the game

Ah...the big day. I had plans of getting up at a reasonable time and heading out into Tallahassee for the entire day.

So instead, I slept in and leisurely got up and got dressed. I planned to head to the Garnet and Gold store to pick up any "necessary" FSU items, eat lunch at one of my favorite restaurants in Tally and then head to campus and wander around and go to the game.

I leave the hotel and for the life of me can't remember any of the backroad shortcuts, so I decide to stick to main roads. I head down N. Monroe to eventually get to Appalachee Parkway. As I am driving down the road I am just surprised at how much I have forgotten. There were a some places along the road I remembered, like the Prince Murat Motel (which...based on the exterior and location...NEVER STAY THERE), but most things I was like "wha...?"

As I am about to turn onto the road to head to the mall (and thus the Garnet and Gold store) I pass the state capital. I laughed as I remembered all the protesters that were hanging out after the 2000 Presidential election. Cause...Florida played a critical AND controversial role in that election (Please no comments about it..if there are any I will delete those comments entirely. That election is said and done and was 8 YEARS AGO..time to let it go.)

But I digress.

The "necessary" things I found at the store included: two tshirts, a visor (that was on sale! yay!) and a framed photo of a picture of the marching band (circa 1955) spelling out FSU. It's black and white and there is a horrible shadow on the field from the press box. I love it! (I would take a picture of it...but since it was someone else's photo (or a print of that photo) I am buying...I don't want to)

After the mall, I took the long way to campus, heading down Tennessee Street (kinda the main drag in front of campus). Again there were quicker ways to campus, but they were really really fuzzy in my head--plus I didn't mind the roundabout way. Driving down Tennessee, I could already tell how different FSU was. So I got my initial peek at FSU and headed towards one of my favorite restaurants in Tally, Gordo's. Unfortunately....I didn't abide my by original plan which was to get to Gordo's pretty much when it opened. When I drove by it was PACKED. So no Gordo's for Nicole :o(

I went ahead to the stadium to park and was just going to wander around campus until it got closer to game time. As I was heading towards the stadium...I had no idea where I was going. I mean....there was a ginormous stadium on my left...so I wasn't lost, but I wasn't sure what road I was on. So I go and park and cross the street (uh...Pensacola St....maybe?) and go towards campus. I see the new additions that have been made to the baseball stadium....and I notice the crowd around the circus. Which...there was going to be a performance from the FSU Flying High Circus that day. I was walking past when I stopped suddenly and thought...why don't I go to the circus? So I did!

I bought a hotdog and lemonade (which were overpriced) and made my way into the tent. It was a really great show. I had never gone when I was a student at FSU, but better late than never. (It was hard to get decent photos in there, plus I was missing things in the beginning fiddling with the settings on my camera trying to get a good shot. So I finally stopped and just watched the show. This is the one decent picture I got.)

As I was watching the circus I realized a couple of things. 1) why did I never take the class?? and 2) if I would have known about the lovely fellas who participate in the circus.....yeah... I mean, these boys are mere wee ones now...but I would have been ALL OVER THEM back in the day. Seriously. Not that they all were nice to stare at....but plenty of potential distractions. Plus...really...I think my life will never be the same having never learned the Spanish web.

After the circus I started my hike of campus. I can't even describe how different it is. I was just looking at everything completely flabbergasted that i didn't take one. single. picture of the campus. The new chemistry building? No picture. The new med school buildings? No picture. The new on-campus apartments? No pictures. All the new statues? No pictures. You get the drift.

As I hiked across campus I made sure I went through Landis Green. Which is this big field area surrounded by dorms (including Landis Dorm...) and other buildings. It was full of girls laying out in their bikinis (it was sunny and upper 70s that day). A group of people playing football. Some random students filming something. People sitting on the grass reading, playing on their laptop, etc. The students may change (the first iPods came out my senior year and most students didn't have their own computer let alone laptop) but the fact that they congregate on the green remains the same.

I took a break and sat on a bench outside the Westcott Building. And the Westcott Fountain. Where birthdays are celebrated by getting thrown into the fountain. I don't know why. It's just tradition.

I continued to walk north along Copeland Avenue and noticed that Bill's Bookstore had moved into a bigger, nice building. Also, PotBelly's was gone (ok...maybe this is just my memory messing with me, I used to think it was on the corner of Copeland and College...but the interwebs are telling me they are still there, just a bit further down College...or maybe they moved into a bigger/nicer building because their website says v. 2.0. I dunno). I walked up to the school of music and decided to make my way back across campus.

I passed two girls who were trying to get into a gated parking lot. Their student id wasn't working...so the driver (who was in an SUV) was just going to break through the gate. I didn't stay to see the outcome.

I walked by one of the biology buildings and saw the greenhouse. Then comes all the random statues. I think many of them were gifts...or maybe done by FSU students. I dunno. My favorite was "dog without head."

I went through the student union and it has changed a bit. There was the cafeteria-type place that was gone. (been replaced with fast-food type stuff). Then where the fast-food type stuff had been...is now a Chili's restaurant. Like. A freakin' Chili's is on the FSU campus.

I crossed Woodward (oh buzzing noise to let pedestrians know it is safe to cross...you have not changed) and decided to go into the FSU Bookstore. I walk in and was informed it would be closing in about 10 minutes. So I decided to just look at their trailer hitches (I have been looking for a particular one forever and can't find exactly what I am looking for). As I was leaving I noticed some people who were getting turned away...and I knew them! It was some people from the Seminole club up here in NC! (what are the odds...)

So I stopped and chatted with them a bit. Talked about how different the campus was and blah dee blah.

I then decided to head back towards the stadium. By this time it was close to 5pm. The game started at 7pm and I wanted to walk around the new baseball/football stuff and get something to eat. So I walked around the stadium exterior. It's really nice and they've finished building the university center around it. I went to the green area outside the stadium where all the day's activities had been set up. I noticed that everyone is starting to pack up, so I buy a drink and decide to go into the FSU store at the stadium. I stopped by the Unconquered statue. That thing is much larger than I thought it would be, plus it is pretty high off the ground (no doubt to discourage drunk people and precocious children from climbing on it). And no, no real photo.

I went into the store and milled around to kill some time. I debated if there were any other "must have" things in there but decided that I had spent enough money already. Then I noticed a mass of people moving inside towards the stadium. I went and joined the mass and lo and behold, the gates were open for the game. So in I walked to the stadium that I had not been in since August 31, 2002.

Road Trip: Part 1

2009-04-19T11:00:00.000-04:00

Friday, April 3, 2009

Today was just getting from NC to FL. Google Maps told me it would be a 9.5 hour drive. Meh. I figured I would fall somewhere between the 9-10 hour mark depending on how fast I drove, if I hit any traffic and how long of a stop I made.

The drive was pretty uneventful for the first half. Just driving in moderate traffic. I made two random mixed CDs and brought Jim Gaffigan's new CD for the drive. I listened to the local radio stations (in NC) until they started petering out, then I switched to the first mixed CD that was chock full of fast-paced and more upbeat songs. And really, I did feel like listening to Big Pimpin' on repeat for about 30 minutes.

I followed the first mixed CD with the new Jim Gaffigan CD. And really...they didn't put the most funny bits in the tv special. Like seriously at one point I was laughing so hard I almost drove off the highway. But I can't remember for the life of me what exactly he was talking about....

I next put the second mixed CD in (which was a random assortment of more sappy songs)...and that turned out to be a bad idea. Those songs got me contemplating, which eventually led to me getting upset. And crying. Again. I mean, I am seriously getting sick of crying and just wish I wouldn't do it.

About this time I was near the halfway point (mileage-wise) of the trip. That meant I had drove 309 miles. I decided to wait a little longer to stop because I didn't need to get gas quite yet and it was still a little early for dinner. Finally, I made the decision to stop because it was kinda like "why not?" and boy I am glad I did....

About 20 miles further from the stop (where I did fill up gas), I hit stopped traffic. We moved about 20 feet. Then stopped. Then moved about 100 ft. Then stopped. You get the idea. And of course this always happens when there is an exit NOWHERE in sight. So I was glad I had a tank full of gas, an empty bladder and some food and beverage to occupy me.

Eventually I got through that mess (was due to an teeny fender bender on my side and rubber-neckers gawking at the multi-car fender bender on the other side) and it seemed to be smooth sailing from there.

I finally hit I-10 and from there it was a straight 2.5 hour drive to Tallahassee. I can't tell you how calm I felt the closer I got to Tally. And how I felt like I was going home. I was driving west into the setting sun and traffic was light so it was going to be a nice end to the drive. I was less than 30 minutes from my hotel, I figured I would get there at about 8:30, which would put the total trip to just over 9 hours. That would give me time to check in, unpack and relax.

Until...

A sea of brake lights. Both lanes as far ahead as I can see. We are technically moving...but not much. I don't know if it is construction or an accident. I figured it was an accident since by this time it was about 8pm and this area isn't really a place where they would need to do night-time construction. I mean...it took 45 minutes to go less than 5 miles. Finally we come across a little sign that says "right lane closed, 1/4 mile." I am in the left lane....I don't know if that is for real or not since I don't see the people ahead merging left. A semi beside me puts his blinkers on...so I let him in front of me. We crawl another 1/2 mile or so and then BAM...the right lane is closed. So of course we get the line of assholes that want to floor it and shoot over at the last second, causing the left lane to have to stop. Lather, rinse, repeat. And to add insult to injury, by the time I got to where the lane closure was, the men were picking up the cones to open the right lane back up.

So, ok. No BIG deal. I am still like 20 miles from my hotel, construction is done it's not that late. So I'm going. I see the first exit for Tally. I momentarily debated taking it, but decided to just stay on the highway and take the exit my hotel is on (since it is RIGHT OFF the highway).

I regretted that decision.

I am less than 5 miles from my exit and we stop. AGAIN. For more construction. Luckily, this was just a teeny area of closure (and the guys were actually working on the road). And once it opened back up it was to 3 lanes and not just 2. So I floor it to my exit.

I am waiting at the light to turn right (it has two lanes turning left and two turning right off the highway...and everyone has to wait for a green light). The lights are green. I am in the inner right lane (because my hotel is on the left). I am getting into the far lane when some car zooms past me on the left.

Now, let's break this down. I am in the left of two right-turning lanes. I am turning into the left-most lane on the road. A car passes me on the left. I'll wait a sec and let you do the math.

Ok?

Yeah...WHERE THE HELL DID THAT VEHICLE COME FROM??????? Luckily the asshole zoomed by me because I didn't see him until he was past my car. My only thought is that he (or she...I dunno) ran the red light. Like...big time. I mean, when the main road light turned YELLOW...there was no one there and no one was close enough for me to see headlights. Given the time it took to change to red and then my light to change to green...a car came through the intersection. Sheesh.

But finally I get to the hotel. I didn't do too much researching on it...and also was trying to keep things on the cheaper side so I wasn't expecting a really nice hotel. I didn't realize it was the kind where the doors are on the outside. But no biggie. I checked in in about 30 seconds and went to my room. My only complaints about the room is that it has a slight musty smell to it (like it needs to be aired out...not like wet stuff sat in here for awhile). Also...the bed doesn't have a fitted sheet on it...so there are two flat sheets. That kinda skeeves me and I don't know why. But alas...it is 11:30, I have driven about 630 miles today...and I might have gotten some bad tan lines while driving. It's time to sleep.

Five-fer Friday: Countdown to Reunion #1.

2009-04-17T07:25:00.001-04:00

In two weeks I will be heading down to FL for my 11th high school class reunion (things didn't get planned in time to make it for the 10th). Class of '98! Woot!

In honor of this blast from my past, the next three Five-fers will center around the class reunion. I will probably write a post about the reunion, but probably not really post any pics or anything. I kinda want to keep my blog semi-anonymous, so I don't like to post pictures of me or people I know on it.

To start it off: Top 5 Songs from 1998* **

Next--Too Close
Brandy and Monica--The Boy is Mine
Shania Twain--You're Still the One
Savage Garden--Truly Madly Deeply
LeAnn Rimes--How Do I Live

*this is from the Billboard Hot 100 list. Other lists are slightly different, but the top 10's were generally pretty similar also including songs such as: Celine Dion--My Heart Will Go On, Goo Goo Dolls--Iris, Natalie Imbruglia--Torn and Matchbox20--3am

**I also realize that some of these songs might have actually been released in 1997 or been released AFTER my high school graduation in 1998.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

2009-04-13T08:04:00.000-04:00

Unless you are me...mine are worth more like...300-400. Heh.

I am not a photographer. I take mediocre pictures. Don't get me wrong, every now and then I take a photo and wow...I even impress myself.

I think the best picture I ever took was from a disposable camera on a trip to Europe. I was at this university in London (long story short--I was staying in the dorms with a bunch of other U.S. high school kids during the summer) and there was this old building on the campus (the Founder's Building). It was gorgeous. The building itself was shaped like the outline of a square so that it had a huge courtyard in the middle.

Me and some of the other kids on the trip were walking up this path towards the Founder's Building. There was some tallish grass and trees lining the path and we came around this curve and you could just see a corner of the building. So I stopped and took a picture...and it came out beautifully. Right now it sits in a small frame (since it's just a 3x5 print), but eventually I want to get the picture printed in a larger size (I have the negative somewhere...)

Anyway...back to bad pictures (and yes...I took a picture of a picture. Hee. If you look closely you can see my hand in the reflection on the glass in the frame on the left side). I have plenty of photos that include rogue bits of fingers over the lens. I have corrected that problem to make sure I keep my fingers just on the edge of the camera. Now my problem is that I don't really know how to use my camera and I don't really know what I need to do for certain lighting/conditions.

That coupled with the fact that I'm not really a picture taker. I often feel weird just randomly taking pictures. Even when I am a tourist visiting something.

So with my recent discovery of iMovie, I am going to fix that problem. I am going to dig out my camera manual (which I just have a little point-n-shoot digital camera..I will master that before I spend some serious $$$ on a better camera) to see what the settings actually are and things I can manually adjust. Then I am going to read up on actually taking the photos.

Then I just need to go to town and take pictures of EVERYTHING.

So, my loyal reader(s) might get to benefit (or be tortured) with this new thing.

Nicole vs. Cupcake #2: Really Long Cupcake Name...

2009-04-07T14:02:00.001-04:00

This recipe is for : Chocolate Cupcakes Stuffed with Strawberry Chocolate Ganache and Frosted with Chocolate Glaze and Buttercream.

Ok, after typing just the recipe title I need a nap!

I think it is safe to say why I tried this recipe. That recipe title is ridiculous. I was like "hells yeah!" I sort of gave a preview to this recipe in a previous blog post, about how I might be mildly allergic to chocolate (at least to very large amounts of cacao). But I think the components of the recipe were good, so I imagine that together it was just chocolate insanity. Here is the recipe as per the website with my notes/comments in green.

Old-Fashioned Chocolate Cupcakes

~8 regular cupcakes / 350 degree oven [I got exactly 8 cupcakes, and that was even scraping the bowl AND beater to get every last bit out, but the recipe author mentions that this recipe is easily doubled or quadrupled or whatever you need very easily]

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter, room temp [see, mini recipes like this is why I ADORE that Land-O-Lakes now has little pre-wrapped 1/2 stick packages. That way, I don't have a half stick of butter sitting in my fridge starting to taste like a medley of stuff in my fridge...cause...blech!]

1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons sugar

1 large egg, room temp

1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons flour

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/8 teaspoon baking soda

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup high quality unsweetened cocoa powder like Valrhona brand [I just used the regular Hershey's stuff, but if you are a sucker for insane amounts of chocolate...use some high percentage cacao stuff]

1/4 cup milk

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1. Beat butter until softened. Add sugar and beat until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes.

2 Add egg and beat until well combined.

3. Measure the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cocoa powder into a small sized bowl and whisk to combine.

4. Measure out the milk and vanilla and stir to combine

5. Add about a third of the dry ingredients to the butter/sugar and beat to combine. Add about a half of the milk/vanilla and beat to combine. Continue adding, alternating between dry and wet and finishing with the dry.

6. Scoop batter into cupcake cups about 2/3’s full. Bake cupcakes for about 22-25 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean. [my cupcakes tested clean at about 15 minutes. I mentioned before how they had a crater in the middle, after some internet surfing and finding some comments from the blog author about this same cupcake recipe here I see that I probably just overfilled my cupcake liners. Mine weren't as disastrous looking as her photo, but next time I'll err on the side of caution and only fill about half full. But anywho, the cupcakes were still delicious tasting...and you can cover craters with frosting]

Strawberry Ganache Filling and Ganache Glaze

4.5 ounces (128 grams) Valrhona 85% cacao (or any bittersweet chocolate) [I used some Ghirradeli 60% cacao stuff]

3/4 cup heavy cream [I got an 8 oz. (1 cup) carton of heavy cream...and made butter with the leftovers! heee! it's easy to make butter with heavy cream. Just put it in a leak-proof container (it is easier to work with smaller batches--I used a gladware container) and shake, shake, shake. First you will hear it sloshing. Then you won't hear it sloshing (it will kinda look like thick whipped cream at this point). Keep shaking and you'll hear some more sloshing and at this point you should have some soft butter-y looking stuff and some liquid. I drain the liquid and shake shake shake some more. Viola! You have butter. If you want to make salted butter, just throw in a bit of salt in the beginning. Making butter is a skill I learned in the second grade, woot!]

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

pinch salt

1/3 cup strawberries, diced

1. Chop chocolate and transfer into a heat proof bowl.[I used a 2 cup pyrex measure cup so that I made sure I had plenty of room to stir since I tend to make messes if the container is too full...I would imagine for me if I made the full batch I would need to use my 4 cup pyrex measuring cup]

2. Heat cream until bubbles form around the edge of the pan, pour cream over the chocolate.

3. Let sit for 1 minute then stir until combined [initially, it was gross looking, like little tiny strings of chocolate in the cream. Just keep stirring and it'll eventually turn into a nice chocolatey brown...chocolate mixture].

4. Add vanilla and salt. Stir until combined.

5. Divide the ganache in two approximate equal portions. In the first portion, mix in the chopped strawberries. Transfer to the refrigerator to chill. [since I had cratercakes and didn't have anything to fill and decided to do just a pool of the strawberry chocolate stuff, I made a half recipe just to use for the puddle of chocolate. I am convinced that this is the component that my body was NOT agreeing with. So I think I will avoid any high percentage of cacao chocolate from now on]

6. Leave the second portion on the counter to cool down. You want the filling to thicken up before the glaze. Once the filling is think, fill the cupcakes with it. Then glaze with the glaze. [Obviously, I didn't do this step, I just put my bowl of chocolate in the fridge while I waited for the butter (to make the frosting) to come to room temp, so I don't know time-wise about how long it would take to get the stuff cool enough]

Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 tablespoon milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2-3 cups powdered sugar

1. Using an electric mixer, beat the butter at medium speed until creamy.

2. Add the milk, vanilla extract, and 2 cups of powdered sugar and beat at low speed, occasionally stopping to scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl, until light and fluffy. Add more powdered sugar to arrive at the consistency and sweetness you like. [I used about 2.5 cups of powdered sugar to get what I think is a nice sturdy consistency. This recipe made WAAAY much more frosting that what is needed for just 8 cupcakes, unless you put a TON of frosting on them. And I mean, like, a ton. I had so much frosting left over I could have probably frosted another 8 cupcakes easily. But this was a delicious recipe.]

Finished cupcake:

As I mentioned before, I never tried the finished recipe. Each individual component was good, so I imagine the final product to be just a pile of sweet, chocolate-y goodness. I might venture to make this recipe again...except with just plain ol' Hershey's milk chocolate instead of some 60% cacao stuff. The cupcake recipe and the frosting recipe are definite keepers...nice basic recipes that can be used over and over and over.

I also imagine this would be fantastic as a cake. Imagine a chocolate cake filled with a chocolate strawberry mixture and covered in buttercream. Granted, using these recipes I don't know conversion wise how much you would have to increase the recipe to get enough for a cake. Not my problem. Heh. I like CUPCAKES!!

Nicole vs. Cupcake #1: Sweet and Salty Honey Peanut Cupcakes

2009-04-05T07:17:00.001-04:00

Note: I wrote this EONS ago, but always had issues getting photos to upload to the blog. Now I don't, so I have gone back and put in the photos for the Nicole vs. Cupcake posts that I had already written.

The first installment is Sweet and Salty Honey Peanut Cupcakes

I had been on a sort of honey kick. I mean, wouldn't you if you had some quasi-local honey sitting in your apartment like I did?

(sorry I didn't rotate the photo...). The recipe per the Cupcake Bakeshop by Chockylit is as follows with my comments in green:

Cupcakes

2 tablespoons peanuts, unsalted

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup + 1 tablespoon flour (cake if you have it, otherwise all-purpose)

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

3 tablespoons grape seed oil or vegetable oil

2 tablespoons whole milk

3 egg yolks

1/3 cup thick honey [the recipe creator mentioned her honey had to be heated to be pourable, mine was really thick but I could pour it at room temp]

4 egg whites

1/4 teaspoon cream of tarter
1/4 cup sugar

1. Chop peanuts together with the salt and set aside. If you can’t find unsalted peanuts use the salted but only add a pinch of additional salt. Taste the chopped nuts and make sure they are salty. [Now, I could have used my ridiculously ginormous food processor to chop the itty bitty amount of peanuts. I took a much more simplistic approach: HAMMERTIME! Also, I didn't measure the peanuts that I was pounding. I just threw a handful into a ziploc baggie and bang! bang! bang!]

2. Sift flour, salt, and baking powder into the bowl of a standing mixer.

3. In a medium bowl, combine oil, milk, egg yolks, and honey. Stir to combine.

4. On a low setting, start to beat the dry mixture and slowly add the wet. Increase the mixer speed to medium and beat until incorporated.

5. Transfer mixture to another bowl. Wash and dry mixer bowl.

6. Whip egg whites with whip attachment on medium-high speed until foamy. With the mixer on medium speed, add cream of tarter and slowly add sugar. Beat on high speed until stiff peaks form.

7. Scoop a cupful of the stiff egg whites into the batter and stir to combine. This should lighten up the batter.

8. Transfer the batter to the egg whites and gently fold until there are no more streaks of egg white.

9. Fill cupcake cups about 1/3 full. The sprinkle peanut/salt mixture over top. Fill with batter up to 2/3s full and bake at 350 F for 22-25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. [My cupcakes were DONE by 15 minutes, and actually I wish they were a teeny bit less brown. Another commenter mentioned hers were done in half the time as well....so if you make these...watch them closely!]

Frosting

4 ounces or 1/2 package of Philly cream cheese

2 tablespoons butter

1-2 cups sifted powdered sugar

2 tablespoons thick honey

1. Bring butter to room temperature by letting it sit out for 1 or 2 hours.

2. Sift powdered sugar into a bowl or onto parchment.

3. Beat butter and cream cheese at medium speed until creamy.

4. Add 1 cup of the powdered sugar and the honey. Beat until combined.

5. Add more sugar until you get to the consistency and sweetness you like. [I only added a little over a cup of powdered sugar...and I didn't sift it...it had a couple of lumps...and the frosting was a little on the thin side, so next time I would add more to get it a little more heftier]

Voila!

The taste of these is exactly as the recipe title describes. Sprinkling some of the chopped peanuts on top definately gave these the sweet-and-salty combo. The cupcakes are really really light (they would not double as a weapon). Mine were a little on the tough side, but I think that is because I overmixed them and for future baking I will try one adjustment to see if that helps. I think I would prefer to have the peanuts in the cupcakes more evenly distributed rather than in just a layer. The honey I used is a good baking honey, so you could still taste a hint of honey flavor instead of just a general sweetness. The recipe on the website said it made 9 cupcakes, I made 12 and there was still a bit of batter left and I could have gotten another 2-3. Overall these were yummy cupcakes, but I don't think I'll be making them again unless I specifically need the sweet-and-salty thing.

Hitting the Reset Button

2009-04-04T12:11:00.001-04:00

Lately I have not been happy with things. Some people know various amounts of what is going on, but I honestly don't feel like going into it here. I feel like I've already talked about it enough, and frankly, I'm sick and tired of advice and just want to figure things out on my own at this point.

I've needed to get my mind off of things, just to give my brain a break. But I find that staying in town doesn't help. Sure, I can get distracted here and there but life always comes screaming back to the forefront. I decided I needed to get out of town.

I found a really cheap flight to Ireland, but seeing how I still need to renew my passport, I figured a trip like that would need several weeks or months to get organized and planned. I know I needed to get away much faster than that.

I had a strong urge to go to Tallahassee, FL. I spent 4 years there at FSU, and they were 4 great years. I haven't been to Tallahassee in about 6.5 years, so I was due to go back. Plus I just think right now, I have this huge desire to be somewhere that is a little familiar and somewhere I could think, enjoy myself and hopefully hit a "reset button" of sorts.

I don't know how to convey the emotional draw of going to Tallahassee right now. It is just somewhere I was at a point in my life where things were just so much more simple. I guess part of it was being at the right school for me and being more naive at the time. I was much more confident--because I didn't know better. I didn't question so many things in my life--because I had a better sense of when things felt right or not. I think being younger I was more emotionally stable because I just hadn't been through that many things. I hadn't really experienced crappy behavior by guys, or "friends" turning on you and saying nasty things behind your back. I didn't have a panic about my abilities with school. I didn't worry about finding a job using my education that I would enjoy. I was doing well with school, with my friends and with my life.

And now, I just feel like things are unraveling into a horrendous knot that I won't be able to untangle. I don't feel like myself lately and I don't know if it is a matter of me changing or just being completely lost. I have seriously sat down and wrote out what is different from my life now and back then...and trying to find out if there is something I can do to just bring back the peace of mind I had with things back then. I'm not trying to get back to my life as a 20-yr old, I just want the mindset I had then to be in my life right now. When I had stressful periods back then, they never manifested themselves physically. They were dealt with in stride. And now the stress feels so overwhelming that I really just want to quit because I don't think I'll be able to see things through. It might sound silly, but I hope being in Tallahassee will get my mind back to where it used to be.

I picked this weekend because it is the annual "Garnet and Gold" game, that is, the spring scrimmage. They hold the game in the stadium and have a variety of stuff going on during the day before the game. It will give me a chance to see the campus (which I'm sure will look quite different since the last time I was there), see a "football game" in the stadium and hopefully clear my mind some.

Normally I would just post the pictures and stuff on facebook, but frankly, I don't feel like putting them up there. I rather post them here, sharing them with a couple people who know me and potentially a bunch of random strangers. I know that might not make any sense, but there are several people I just don't want to share this whole thing with. For the people who know me and are on facebook AND know about this blog, feel free to comment on here or on facebook. The trip is not secret on there and I might post a couple of photos on my faceboook page. The only thing I ask is do not disclose my blog name/address on facebook.

As of right now (since when I am writing this, I won't be leaving for a couple of days), I am planning to post multiple posts about the trip with pictures and maybe even video because it might be a little long to put it all in one post. But we'll see. So be sure to check back during the week if you want to see my story about the trip.

Five-fer Friday: It's been awhile

2009-04-03T08:39:00.000-04:00

I know, I know.

I am the bad blogger who goes on and on about planning to post more regularly. I think I've been doing ok lately, no?

One thing that has fallen by the wayside is my Five-fer Friday posts. The last one was...oh....back in February.

Today's five-fer is new tv shows that I watch thanks to having cable. I did a Five-fer on my favorite tv shows before, but today's is for those shows that I now adore.

Rock of Love (VH1): Greatest reality dating show EVER. Centered around finding love for Brett Michaels, the lead singer of 80's band Poison (although they still tour). It is filled with strippers and skanks! So much hilarity. Produced some of the greatest lines ever uttered on tv including: "don't threaten me with a good time" and "dicksucking whorebags"
The Dish (Style): It is supposedly similar to some show on E!...but I don't know because I don't watch E! It is hosted by Danielle Fishel (or Topanga from Boy Meets World) and I just think she is darling and hilarious. And she has FANTASTIC hair.
The First 48 (A&E): This is kinda like a real life Law and Order. Or at least the Law half of Law and Order. Basically it follows homicide detectives and their investigation in the first 48 hours following getting a call for a homicide (which the chance of solving a homicide case drops in half if a lead is not figured out within the first 48 hours).
Ghost Hunters (SciFi...or is it officially SyFy now?...which...LAME): This show follows TAPS (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) as they investigate allegedly haunted locations. The two co-founders of TAPS (who are plumbers by day), Jason and Grant, are fun to watch (which...Grant is pretty easy on the eyes). Generally they try to find an alternate explanation for any noises or things seen. But sometimes they get some freaky stuff that they can't explain.
My Boys (TBS): okay, so I've watched one episode. But it has Jim Gaffigan. So I will continue watching it. What? I love Jim Gaffigan!

Oh yeah...I forgot to mention this.

2009-03-31T20:00:00.001-04:00

So I mentioned a time or two (sorry, too lazy to link to old posts) how much my school laptop sucks. Well...guess what? I bought a new one! I decided to try a MacBook. I figured I can't hate it anymore than I have hated my PC laptops.

I would like to introduce everyone to G. (the nickname for my MacBook)!

Jim Gaffigan: Knows the Future

2009-03-30T10:00:00.000-04:00

Did you watch Jim Gaffigan's new special last night? No? Then you just need to move away from this blog.

So...

About a year ago, Jim Gaffigan was doing a show in a nearby city. Me and 3 friends made the journey down to go see him. One of his jokes (that he also used in the special last night) was about Waffle House...and how sometimes a letter is out in the sign. And occasionally that letter is the 'W'...and then it says "affle (awful) House."

On the way back, as we exited the highway there was a Waffle House. But the lighted sign said "affle House."

The man knows things...

King Baby

2009-03-29T09:01:00.000-04:00

Tonight, at 9pm AND 10pm (EST), Jim Gaffigan will debut his new comedy special "King Baby" on Comedy Central.

You should watch, you know you want to...

I know I will be!

I should be peeing my (smaller) pants with glee

2009-03-27T11:48:00.001-04:00

I'm a woman. Boobs, ovaries, fallopian tubes, hoo-hoo. Certain things should come naturally to me. Like being excited about losing weight. I am by no means thin. I am not morbidly obese either. I could stand to lose some weight but I'm not knocking on death's door.

Recently I have been losing some weight, not so much due to effort to lose weight but more so just stressing about life and having no appetite half the time. Which actually, is surprising since I normally go the other way when I am stressed. Normally I stuff my face silly (and thus gain weight) when I am stressed. I don't know why I have no appetite this time around.

But I am losing weight.

My bra cups are getting a wee bit too roomy. (oh boobs, why are you always the first to go?)

My pants are extra droopy. (which, who doesn't find jeans that give a girl a nice butt droop extra sexy?)

I bought a smaller pair of jeans and they do not fit like a sausage casing. (because I am a fan of both breathing and proper circulation)

My watch just now dangles on my wrist. (which I just paid $$$ not to long ago to get the watch resized and new batteries and crap)

My cheekbones are sticking out more.

My collarbone is starting to be visible.

My back mini-roll is extra mini.

I should be jumping with glee. I mean, don't get me wrong...I am happy to be losing the weight. I am just not over excited...especially since now I need to go buy new bras (and pants and shirts). Even the cheap bras aren't that cheap. And even though the ladies have shrunk some...they are still large enough to get into trouble without proper restraint. I don't know how much weight I have lost...because I have NO idea how much I weigh. Now I just need to start going to the gym regularly so I can get some muscle. Because...being a girl...I also want to have inner thighs that could crush a walnut.

What? Most girls don't want that?

My Life In Music

2009-03-21T15:30:00.006-04:00

Ok, I stole this from Little Miss V. You pick one artist and use song titles to answer the questions below. I am gonna pick Incubus, because I think it will give me the largest song title collection out of CDs I own. That and I like Incubus.

Are you male or female? Southern Girl
Describe yourself: Stellar
How do you feel about yourself? Idiot Box
Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: Just a Phase
Describe your current boy/girl situation: I Miss You
Describe your current location: Sick Sad Little World
Describe where you want to be: Nowhere Fast
Your best friend is: Nice to Know You
Your favorite color is: A Certain Shade of Green
You know that: When it Comes
What's the weather like? The Warmth
If your life was a television show, what would it be called? Talk Shows on Mute
What is life to you? Circles
What is the best advice you have to give? Make Yourself
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Anna Molly

This makes me feel sad...

2009-03-09T08:09:00.000-04:00

The economy sucks. Unemployment is high.

I read an article that was discussing how many people who have been collecting unemployment didn't realize that the checks they get are taxable...but that the taxes haven't been taken out yet.

The story focused on a guy who received a weekly $514 unemployment check. Which means he is getting $2,056 a month (pre-tax) from unemployment.

Sadly, his monthly unemployment is higher than my monthly income.

Yipee!

2009-03-07T20:05:00.002-05:00

I was do excited today and strolled into Old Navy. They have their summer stuff out...including dresses. And how excited was I that they continued a dress that they had LAST summer that I absolutely adore! So I bought it is a nice solid blue. It only cost $20. It needs to get warm and stay warm!

I hope tonight will be fun as well. Start (kinda) and end today on a good note!

My 100th Post

2009-03-06T02:55:00.000-05:00

Woo?

I feel that this should be some exciting post. It's not.

Right now, in this moment, I just don't care. At all. I am in a foul mood for no real good reason. Just because. Ok, my hormones might be influencing my bad mood a little, but no real reason to be in a bad mood.

I just don't care. School? Meh. Home? Meh. Everything? Meh. Meh meh meh.

Once I get out of this foul mood, I do have several posts I am working on. About various things. I hope to get back to posting a big more regularly. But we'll see.

Well....crap

2009-02-22T07:17:00.000-05:00

I missed another Five-fer. I was out in Santa Fe getting my scientific conference on and Friday was spent returning back to life in the real world. My day started with over an hour shuttle ride to the airport. An almost 3 hour flight from Albuquerque to Atlanta. Then about an hour flight from Atlanta to the Greensboro. Plus the obligatory waits and layovers and such. So...I didn't get onto a computer at all on Friday.

Anywho, so during my graduate school career I have been to 2 major conferences. The first one I did not like at all...and really gave me a bad taste for conferences. It wasn't what I was interested in, it was way too big and it was way too unfocused. So I wasn't looking forward to this conference much either.

But this conference was very different and very good. Don't get me wrong, I bitched about sitting through 7+ hours of talks a day (in rather uncomfortable chairs) and all, but it was a good conference.

The final night of the conference, after the closing talk by a Nobel Prize winner!, there was a banquet. By the time I got to it and got my food...most of the tables were full. There was one table about half empty, but with some people I know I didn't want to sit with (nothing against the people personally...but I just didn't feel like I would have much socially in common with them based on previous interactions with them). There was an empty table...but did I want to really be sitting by myself? Then there was a seat open next to my boss...at a table full of people that looked like they were a fun bunch but most of whom I hadn't talked to. So I asked if the seat was taken, it wasn't so I sat down. The guy I was sitting next to was at the same point in grad school I am in. So we were able to talk about being in the same point.

He is having a committee meeting tomorrow which he hopes will be his last meeting. His was worried because his boss had already told him he was going to be giving him a hard time during the meeting. So he was nervous about it and was really trying to make sure he had everything all worked up and ready to go.

I said how I will soon be scheduling that hopefully last meeting. And how I was optimistic because my boss had recently mentioned me graduating soon.

Until....

Awhile later while we were all sitting around chatting...my boss mentioned how he now had so many new experiments he wanted to do (some of which the group we were sitting with were doing but that would probably work for our system). Somehow during the course of the conversation...my boss said...while practically cackling with glee....that I would never graduate.

Which...crap.

Five-fer Friday: Short and Sweet

2009-02-13T07:00:00.000-05:00

Ok, I lied.

I
HATE
YOU
FEBRUARY
!

No sir, I don't like it

2009-02-07T14:00:00.004-05:00

Dear February,

I do not like you. At all. You are not being a very nice month. I thought January was being a little...moody....but really, January was just PMSing. YOU, February, are a bitch. And we are only 1/4 of the way through you. I'm not looking forward to the remaining 3/4.

Even though you are a short month, I still am approaching each day with dread and disgust. It is going to be an irritating month for me, and the irritation will be approaching me from all sides.

I won't speak of this hatred I have for you again, but I needed to let you know how I feel. And I can't wait until March.

With deep disgust and hatred,
nicole

[Bangs head against wall]

2009-01-24T13:59:00.004-05:00

I was finally getting cable and internet set up today (which...blogging from home....weee!). They were supposed to come Monday...never showed up...never called. A credit to my bill and a reschedule later...and I was in business. Or so I thought.

The internet got hooked up all fine and dandy. The cable...well. Right when the guy was getting my tv set up...my tv went on the fritz. While I do think the dude started the fritz (the tv had been working fine until he touched it), it's not like I would get anything from the cable company for a 10 yr old tv pretty much going crazy.

Once I did some googling to figure out what the problem could be, it came down to either the tv or the remote. If it was just the remote, then all I would need is to buy a new universal remote. If it was the tv, the cost to potentially repair it wouldn't be worth it since the tv is so old. So either I would be buying a new remote or new tv.

Turns out, the tv has gone batty. The problem appears to be an internal one where anytime a remote button is pressed (the original tv remote or the universal remote), the tv's end keeps thinking you are pressing random buttons. You push any button and a menu will pop up and you don't have control of just exiting out of the menu, because what button you push is arbitrary...the tv is going to do what it wants. Which is why I have no sound and the menus are all in spanish now. The only thing I can do is change the channel (which every time I do it has to go through its menu cycle thing and you have to wait until the menu defaults disappearing) and turn it on/off (which get a little menu flashing when you turn off and hav to deal with the menu flashing/cycling when you turn it on)

I don't personally know any tv repair people who would look at it/fix it for free. I also don't feel it is worth spending any money to have someone try to fix the tv.

So yeah...I'll be getting a new tv.

Not a Five-fer...but a Friday post

2009-01-23T13:55:00.004-05:00

First I want to give a hello to some friends who stumbled upon my blog (because you know...they click links in other people's blogs). Hi 'Lil! Hi Hezah!

So...I had a lame topic for today...but I decided to not go with lame. At least not a lame list. This post might still be lame. But hopefully it will be less vague than Monday. But I will still leave the specifics out. So perhaps it will be 75% vague-free.

Sometimes I surprise myself at how selfish I can be. I mean...I don't act out in front of people, but I will practically stamp my feet and pout when I'm alone if I don't get what I want...or what I feel I should be getting.

This generally doesn't last long...and given sleep and/or some distraction from what I am being selfish about, it goes away. And I feel bad that I was being so selfish. I had no reason to be so unrealistic in my expectations. And I tell myself I need to quite being so selfish. Then I do it again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I guess the positive thing is that I don't morph into bitch mode for long periods of time and I also keep things to myself. Sigh...perhaps one day I will ease up a bit.

Fuzzy Monday

2009-01-19T16:30:00.000-05:00

I had a Five-fer Friday post in the works that I just never got finished and thus, it never got posted. It was kinda specific for last week, so I am just going to delete it (and plus, since you don't know what the topic was...I can recycle it..hee!)

I have some posts in the works. And come this afternoon, I will have both internet AND cable in my apartment. So I can "work" (that is, play online) at night now. While watching cable. So exciting! Perhaps now I will get back to posting more regularly.

Today I want to talk in vague terms. Perhaps a bit abstract. I dunno. Just bear with me and sorry if this is stupid and nonsense.

Have you ever had something that changed your brain a bit? Just how you think about things. I'm not talking about turn-your-world-upside-down-I-need-to-rethink-my-whole-life-and-the-meaning-of-everything type change, but just on a few things. Perhaps even important things.

Now, I do realize this would be a good point to start being more specific, give examples or something. But sorry, I won't.

One thing in particular scared the bejeebus out of me. It was something that I figured I would probably never do--due to both fear of it and the idea that I might not actually want to do it. EVER. But now it doesn't seem that scary. Now I might want to do it.

I think the most disturbing thing for me is how calm I feel about it. I would think I would freak out about this brain change...but I'm not. I'm just so zen about it. And the fact that I am so calm about it doesn't freak me out either.

I know...none of that probably made any sense.

Validation that I am not a complete idiot

2009-01-07T18:10:00.003-05:00

Ok. I really want to graduate already. For reals.

I need this machine to finish a huge set of experiments. I am generally the only user of this machine, so it's ok, I can get the work done.

Except this machine keeps having clog issues. Which means there has to be a service call and a guy has to come out to fix it. So the machine is down for days at a time when there is a clog.

Remember how I said I am the primary user? Guess who gets the finger pointed at them for clogging the machine?

I have done everything the people at the machine company had said to do. Religiously. The professor who is in charge of this machine has even told me he doesn't know what else I can do to keep this from happening.

The machine has been down this week because of another clog. The guy comes to fix it. This time the guy says I am doing everything right...and that there has been a manufacturing problem with the part in the machine that keeps clogging.

It's nice to know that it really wasn't me....

You and your stupid new year's resolutions!

2009-01-06T19:35:00.001-05:00

This is a rant. Feel free to stop reading now.

I already stated my opinion about New Year's resolutions. My thoughts of them in a nutshell: retarded.

One of the most common resolutions is losing weight/getting healthy/getting in shape/some other similar concept. Not that I have a beef with people wanting to get in shape and live healthy. Let's face it....we are a nation of fatties. So come January 1st...the "magical day of change," people cut back on soda and sweets and fried foods...and join gyms.

I don't mind people joining gyms--even my gym. I like my gym. I like the people there. I have my absolute favorite instructor ever who is crazy enough to make classes super fun even though she is kicking your butt. Good times.

What I do mind is this massive flock of people who join because of the "magical day of change." I went to the gym last night to take my usual Monday night class (which is so super fun...I'm sad if I miss it). It was so freakin' crowded in the gym. There were the usuals who take the class regularly...or who work out regularly at that time on Mondays. But that was the minority. There were so many new faces. Crowding my gym. And forcing me to be next to the crazy flailing lady in class.

I had been being a little slack in my gym routine. I was doing ok with cardio and ab stuff...but was really being lazy (ie-doing no) strength training. So in addition to going back to a strength training class I used to take religiously, I also thought that I could do an extra day of strength training after my Monday night cardio class. After class last night I just left because I took one look at the weight machine area and people were packed in there like sausages. Um, no. I'll pass.

It would be one thing is this was the usual after-work crowd. But it's not. This is the usual after-"magical day of change" crowd. So my options are to either find another time to work out or just wait until February when all those people who used the "magical day of change" as their reason to get healthy stop coming.

I'll wait until February...

This might end up a Five-fer Friday

2009-01-02T14:11:00.004-05:00

Maybe. Maybe not. We'll see what I end up with. Let's just say...I'm not starting out with a list of 5 things...

I am not one to make new year's resolutions. I just think it is silly for January 1st to be this magical day of change. That since I now need to adjust writing 2009 and not 2008...that this is when I can change things. What is wrong with last Tuesday? Or next Thursday? If there is something I want to change, why not start the moment it hits me?

So perhaps this will be a list of things I am working on changing. Or it might start that way and end up something else. You'll just have to read all the way through to find out! Heh.

I am a very analytical person. That's the polite way to put it. The impolite way is that I overthink things. This helps with science because I can come up with several approaches to things. This hurts science because sometimes I overthink why something went wrong with an experiment (because...sometimes the reason something went wrong is that I am an idiot and I did it wrong!). This helps with life because I am a good listener and can generally help come up with ways of dealing with a problem in people's life (not that they have to do what I suggest...but just to give them some ideas). This hurts my life because sometimes I overthink something way too much. I feel this is generally a bigger problem when it comes to people. I just need to chill out and take things at face value. Not read too much into something someone said in a text or in an IM. That just because I might read it the wrong way doesn't mean it's a slight against me. Especially when nothing else but how I perceived some written words points to this being a slight against me. Now, I tend to keep all this neurotic behaviour locked in my head and don't unleash it on the world. But really, neurotic behaviour helps no one.
I need to graduate soon. I think all signs are pointing to this happening soon. It's kinda like the perfect storm is brewing for me to graduate. But now I just gotta get through the insane amount of work I need to get done so that I can graduate. Did that make any sense? I don't know. If you are in grad school or have been in grad school, that probably made sense
I knew I never dressed nice for school. Those who are in a job/school/whatever situation where there isn't a rule telling you how you should dress probably can relate to getting into a sloppy, schlumpy mess. I was there. I know I was dressing like a slob, but I convinced myself I was just being really casual. It all came to a head when one day I decided to wear my new shows (no...not the 4 inch heels...) and this cute jacket that had been sitting in the back of my closet forever. Sure, it was a cute outfit...but it wasn't terribly dressy (ok...and I had my first lunch date with Vanilla Ice...shut it). After like the 10th person asked what I had going on that day for me to dress up...I was like "wow...do I dress that bad???" Which I knew the answer was yes. So I have been working on dressing better. I have been weeding through my insane amount of tshirts (some that really should never see the light of day again). Wearing these random nicer shirts that I have more often. Stop living in my sneakers and oversized hoodie. It hasn't been a horrible thing. And yes, sometimes I do wear my sneakers and oversized hoodie. It's just no longer every day.
I have a big zit on my forehead. Right in the center about a 1/2 inch below my hairline. Normally my bangs would cover it. Today my hair did not want to cooperate hiding Mt St. Zit. It's a big ugly zit. It needs to go. But this bastard is being pretty resistant to my usual face stuff. Asshole zit....GO AWAY!
I should probably blog more often...

To twitter or not to twitter...that is the question...

2008-12-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

I often don't make sense. Sometimes my "logic" isn't the most universally-accepted logic. That's just how I roll.

Anywho...so lots of blogs I read...the bloggers have been using twitter. And I think, do I want to twitter?

Here is the conversation that went on in my head:

I am so low tech that I don't have ANY internet access at my apartment (for only a little bit longer though...) so why would I want a way to stay "more connected" to people when apparently, I've had no need to be more connected to people for oh...5 years?
Oh...but you can text twitter stuff...hmmm...I text alot now...I should so twitter!
What would I twitter about? I have been lax on my blogging lately, why would this addition make me say anything more interesting?
If I twitter...I can talk about stupid random stuff!
But no one will read my stupid random stuff
How do I know that no one will read my stupid random stuff?
Because...I know
No, I don't
Yes I do.
Nuh uh
Yes huh
What was I talking about?
.....
Twittering! Right
Should I twitter?
I don't know.
I could always start and completely abandon it if I'm not feeling it
Or I could just wait and see if the urge to twitter is around next year
But I need to jump on that bandwagon NOW!
Ehhh...I'll figure it out later.

Bad Blogger: Part Deux

2008-12-03T10:12:00.003-05:00

I am still a bad blogger. I had all intentions of posting a five-fer for the day after Thanksgiving...but...I never got it written and scheduled to post before I drove down to FL. And really, I was just too full of turkey and stuffing and sweet potatoes to want to actually deal with it when I was at my parent's house for the weekend.

But alas, I will try to restart the five-fers this Friday. They say third time's the charm...right?

Spending Money! On shoes! Yay!

2008-11-17T10:16:00.006-05:00

So, no purse. But I did buy some fun shoes this weekend. And blogger is actually playing nice and letting me upload pictures. Again. Hmmm...

Pair #1 I have been internet stalking for some time. Me and my friend Hezah have had some long conversations about them. Discussing their merits and what the different colors say. So I got these shoes...but in black (for some reason, the black color isn't on the website).

Aren't they totally impractical and fabulous! Although I need to practice walking in them because that folks is a 4" heel! I walked around them in my apartment and was teetering about like a drunk girl. So I'll need to get used to a heel that high before I release myself in these to the public.

Pair #2 are cute and more practical. And fun. And they are totally comfy. These I'll wear to school or just out and about...or everywhere really. And the color is fun.

Ha ha ha ha ha

2008-11-14T13:33:00.002-05:00

Ha ha ha ha ha

I am all for #7. I think I will skip #8.

Five-fer Friday!

2008-11-14T12:00:00.000-05:00

Woooo! It's back.

Now, I have been a slacker when it comes to blogging because I have been up to my eyeballs with metabolism. I had my lecture two weeks ago and I have been tutoring a student in the class as well. Plus I had to come up with questions for my part of the test and then grade those questions. So my brain has been devoted to remembering material I last paid attention to 5 years ago.

Today's five-fer is 5 thoughts I have about teaching(/tutoring).

I was nervous about my lecture. I don't get nervous about seminars/presentations, but I was nervous before my lecture. I think it was because with the lecture, I actually need to get across information to a group of people. Like...they need to retain it. Not just sit in a large room digesting the pizza they just ate while someone talks about research they probably don't care about.
Holy crap preparing a lecture is lots-o-work. I consulted so many different sources (textbooks, lectures, internet) in preparing my lecture. I mean, I was told in the beginning it is tons of work. But man, if I totaled the time I spent on this lecture it would probably have been 4 entire days. (But this was spread over about 3 weeks...and I only had one lecture to prepare)
Tutoring was a little nerve wrecking too. At this point, when a student in the class requests a tutor, it pretty much means they are not passing. This particular student requested tutoring just over a week before the third (out of four) test. While I did spend insane amounts of time relearning the material, it was very satisfying when they appeared to get something that they had previously been struggling with. Plus the tutoring was a good place to help hone teaching skills (even though it was to an audience of one). Just little things that I said in passing that were helping, or presenting material from the actual lecture in a different way. Oh, and I also got paid for it. That helps**.
Test questions are a little bit tricky. You don't want to be too easy. You don't want to be too hard. I found I had to ask a friend of mine if my questions seemed ok. I was thinking they were too easy, but I didn't know how objective I was being seeing how I knew what I was asking. I had a slight advantage too because my boss was making the other part of the test, so he said he would choose out of my bank of questions and if they were all too easy, he'd make them harder. Out of 6 questions I gave him, he used 2.5 on the test. I thought that was a fair amount giving I was only 1/5 of the section.
Grading questions makes you want to pull your hair out. It's easy grading for the people who get "short answer" type questions completely right or completely wrong. The middle people are the trouble makers. If you are giving partial credit, you have to determine how many points for what. And some people...what they write...boggles the mind. You read it multiple times and still can't make sense of it.

But even after all of that...I still want to teach. Knowing that in the real world I'll have multiple lectures to prepare. Entire tests to prepare. Entire tests to grade. This whole process was a really good experience to get an idea of what goes into it.

**To reward myself for being finished with my foray into teaching, I am treating myself to a hot stone massage. The tutoring is helping to offset the cost. Slightly.

Eddie Murphy is right...

2008-11-14T09:58:00.001-05:00

I was all ready to get out of my desk chair and go set up some lab work. I am literally about to remove my headphones and get up....then what comes onto the 80's internet radio station I am listening to?

"Party all the time" by Eddie Murphy.

You just can't walk away from that.

My Precious....

2008-11-10T14:41:00.000-05:00

Ha! I found you. You thought you would be squirrely and try to elude me. But no, I am persistent. I am a stalker (sometimes...and not in a scary way)...I will find you.

I was just going to buy me a pair of new cute flats. I blame Joy for this thought popping into my head. I saw a cute pair (not Cole Haan though...I'm not a copy cat--although they did have a nice selection of them in the store and they are really cute in person). They were casual enough to wear with just jeans and a tee, but I could also sneak them in with business casual. (don't ask for a picture because I couldn't tell you the brand name of them) On the display were a brown, tan and navy pair. I assumed they were low on the black pair. I asked the saleslady who kept wandering by me just begging me to ask for help. She said they didn't have black at this store but wasn't sure if black ones were made or not. Who doesn't make black shoes? You have brown, tan and navy...but not black? Saleslady was not helpful after that. She pointed to a pair of black flats by the same brand...that looked nothing like the shoes I wanted. She told me those tend to go over really well. I told her I liked the style I asked her about, not some other random ones she wanted to lure me into buying.

Anywho, after I left the shoe department in frustration, I went through the purses. I happened to notice the more upscale purses around the corner...and when I saw the shelves I knew this was where I had seen my purse the first time. I had been going back to the wrong department store! I quickly go over to the area where my purse should be...and lo and behold...there she is...plus her twin. I picked her up. I put her on my shoulder. I looked at all her innard pockets and such. I might have also hugged the purse.

I didn't buy it, but I think when I go to visit my purse again this week I will see how much it is (it might be on sale). If I am still gun shy about buying it, I will call the parents and tell them this is what I want for Christmas and see if they will go for it.

That's my purse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Hunt for the Elusive Chupacabra (or purse)

2008-11-03T10:27:00.004-05:00

So, before I had mentioned this purse that I saw. And loved.

Joy demanded to see it...but I couldn't find it online. Neither at the department store I saw it in or on the designer's page. I just chocked it up to maybe it was a purse on the cusp of seasons (which would mean it should eventually be on sale, right?).

So, I know I have been a bad blogger, but you know, school has gotten in the way of my life. Things are calming back down. In this calm down I headed to the mall (to get some jeans that don't have serious holes in them). While at the mall, I decided I would go visit my purse.

The department store it is in is in the middle of renovations/remodeling/construction of some sort. This time the renovation/remodeling/construction was currently in the section that houses the purses. I found the temporary home for the purses. My purse was not there. At all. Not even close.

I am slightly worried. Is my purse gone? Or perhaps is it just not being displayed due to the lack of space? I don't know.

But this purse has turned into a mythical creature. I swear it is real....I saw it! I touched it! But I have no proof of its existence....and I can't find proof of its existence. I'm not crazy...that purse it real!

On the plus side, I did find some uber cute/slightly slutty shoes. I mean...if I am gonna wear some serious heels, I want my shoes to be a little on the slutty side. Like me! Hee! (that's not true, I'm not slutty! I swear!)

Five-fer Friday(ish)

2008-10-17T11:45:00.000-04:00

Yes, the Five-fers here at I am kayak, hear me roar are going to be lame for some time. At least for the next couple of weeks when I have thing after thing popping up with school. Well, that will be my excuse.

So here is more randomness for this week's Five-fer

I am glad the presidential debates are over. They tend to just get me all riled up, so that when I need to go to sleep, I can't sleep because my brain is working in overdrive. I like sleep. I need sleep.
I don't know how much of a problem this is for other people, but this seems to be a big issue for my lab. The lab I am in is spread between 4 different rooms (in addition to common/shared equipment in other rooms). Generally, when you are doing something you will inevitably need to go back and forth between the rooms. A little annoying, but it is what it is. However, my advisor, lab tech and myself are all prone to walking in a room, stopping and then looking around in confusion. Why? Because we forgot why we came into that room. In the 5 or so seconds it takes us to walk between rooms we forgot why we came in there. This happened to me in front of my boss yesterday morning. I had got into work, put down my stuff at my desk and went into one of our labs to make some buffer. I walked into the room and just stopped. My advisor looks at me. It took me a couple of seconds to remember why I came into that room. My advisor goes "I recognize that look..." **after I wrote this (Thursday morning) I did it again later in the day. Again in front of my boss. And he said "you're worse than I am...and I am old!"
I sometimes get bored of CDs and will listen to the radio. But I have major radio station issues to the point I am switching through the stations pretty much between every song. Sometimes nothing is on my pre-programmed stations that I like. Sometimes I only have meh choices. Sometimes I find myself debating which crappy song I rather listen to. Yesterday it was a choice between some suck-ass Nickelback song (FYI...I HATE Nickelback) and that "who let the dogs out" song. It was really a tough choice. I finally decided on "who let the dogs out." Why? I rationalize I would like that song...if I was 6. I will never like Nickelback.
I have been glad they've been doing the Thursday night SNL thingy (although, I would just rather get to watch 30 Rock...) I need some laugh time after having to deal with all this politics (see #1). And really, I do like the "weekend update" segments. It's the right combination of sarcasm/snark that makes me feel all warm inside.
I finally found a wine I like. My thing with wine, I can taste it and know if I like it or not...but I really don't know what about it I like. So it's not like I can just walk into a wine section, see some new wine and have a good feeling if I'll like it or not based on its description alone. But I know I found one I like when while I was cooking dinner last night I suddenly remembered that I HAVE GOOD WINE IN THE FRIDGE! Woo! Then I drank a glass. Or two.

WOOOO!!!!!

2008-10-13T11:14:00.003-04:00

Eons ago, back when I had my MySpace blog, I was on Purse Quest 2008 (or did it even go back to 2007? I don't know). Anywho.

So I wanted a "big girl" purse. I have several purses, but most of the ones I use daily are cheapie (ie--cost me $10 at Target) cotton sacks essentially that I can just throw all my crap into. And if I feel I need to have a different color cotton sack, I can dump the contents from one into another pretty seamlessly.

Don't get me wrong, I have some really uber cute purses. They are typically on the smaller side.

So in Purse Quest 2008(7?), I wanted a big, fantastic purse. I had some vague qualities I wanted in it: big, bright color (no neutrals), somewhat structured. As for specifics I need to see stuff. I typically don't like shiny bags. Or like the croc-textured bags. Or when they have too many metal embellishments or pockets and such on them. Or if they are not structured enough. The specific things I just have to see to know if I like it or not.

I had found a purse at Banana Republic that I liked. I had went in to buy it one day and the only purse they had was the display one. I wanted one that people couldn't get their grubby little hands all over. The sales girl understood and said to just check back because they got shipments pretty regularly and they never knew what would be in the shipments. I checked back many times and they never had it.

I finally broke down and decided to order it online....and the purse was no longer available online! Thus ended that purse quest. With no new purse.

I had still been looking at purses but nothing really caught my eye. Until Saturday.

I felt like shopping. I went to the mall and browsed around. I'm not even sure which department store I was in....but there it was....THE PURSE!

I went over to it. It's a gorgeous teal color. I picked it up. I put it on my shoulder. Lovely. I looked at it. I stroked it (perhaps with a little bit of the Lord of the Rings character (was it Golum?) that says in that creepy voice "my precious..."). It was perfect. I checked out the interior. A good number of pockets for stuff. I looked at the price tag. I about crapped my pants.

I put it back on the shelf, pouted and walked away.

I have been thinking about that purse ever since. I want that purse. It's more expensive than I would like it to be (and really, I'm not gonna share how expensive it is...let's just say it's more than $100, less than my rent). I rationalize that is what I've been looking for. I rationalize I can buy it for an early graduation gift. Or a late birthday gift. Or an early Christmas gift. Or...a damn-it-I-just-really-want-that-purse gift.

I think I am going to buy it. I need to visit it a couple more times...and ask a salesperson if there is one hidden away that people can't put their grubby little hands on.

Five-fer Friday

2008-10-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

Pfffft. Friday. I normally LOVE Friday. Friday is great! Friday used to mean Dateline. Why no Dateline? I liked my Friday routine. Go to school.....get my ass handed to me in my double-whammy gym classes (2 hours of a slightly crazy instructor, seriously, she tends to cackle with glee when we give her evil looks)....watch Dateline! Now it's go to school...get my ass handed to me in my double-whammy gym classes...pout at my tv.

This time of the year is always uber crazy. Especially October. What is it about you October? Why are you my insane month?!? I am extra glad me (and my data...) decided to just push graduating to the spring instead of trying to graduate this fall.

Anywho, you guys want a list? Well, this Five-fer is a list of the "fun" work I get to do this weekend.

Finish an abstract for a conference. It's in Santa Fe! It looks like it will be a good conference. Plus, I need to go to a conference (for my career, really). I hate writing conference abstracts...it's like "uh...here is what I think my data will be like in 4 months, thanks." But the deadline is Wednesday. I started writing it yesterday (Thursday). I gave a draft to my advisor this morning, who will critique it, I'll rewrite it over the weekend and hopefully only need minor polishing between Mon-Wed.
Make data slides for my boss. He has a talk in a couple of weeks. He wants my data. In a nice, ready-to-slap-into-his-PowerPoint-presentation way. So I basically get to make the slides, he'll just change the background to whatever he wants.
Finish my lecture. My lecture is fast approaching. It's in less than 3 weeks. Yikes. What happened to me having like 2 months?
Induce my rat bastard cells. So, for the research I am in, I use some weird labeling schemes. So for science people, I feed my bacteria specially labeled metabolites. Expensive, specially labeled metabolites. So that my protein will be expensive and specially labeled. The growth I am working on is worth over $1000 (which is more than half of my monthly income). I have to be careful. I can't screw it up. Which means I might have to come in the wee hours sometime over the weekend to squirt in a little bit of stuff and switch the temperature it is at. If it is playing nice it will do this during my normal waking hours. But it often doesn't play nice. The last time I just had to be here at midnight. Another time it was 11am. Another time is was 5pm. Another time it was 3am. When will it be this time?!?
Read a bunch of papers so that I can make all these weird, crazy stuff (charged gels to stick in a magnet! balls of lipid to stick in a magnet!) to run more experiments.

Free Rice

2008-10-07T11:40:00.000-04:00

A friend sent me a link to this website ages ago, when I was in a fit of boredom. It was something to do (that also helps you learn!) with a good cause.

Today marks the year anniversary of Free Rice. It started as answering a multiple choice vocab question. Get it right, Free Rice donates 20 grains of rice through the UN World Food Program. They have expanded to include other subjects besides the vocabulary (including: art, chemistry, English (vocab and grammar), geography, language learning and math).

20 grains of rice doesn't seem like much, but let's put it in some perspective. I timed myself for 1 minute. I answered 31 questions correctly (had several wrong ones too, heh). That means I donated 620 grains of rice. That is ~13 grams of rice--in one minute. (Per their FAQ section). On average, WFP provides 400 grams of rice/per person/per day. Imagine if I played 5 minutes a day--that would be about 65 grams of rice. Imagine if me and my 10 closest friends all played 5 minutes a day (and got similar numbers of questions right)--that would be ~650 grams of rice. That is more than the average amount of rice for one person for one day...by 10 people in 5 minutes.

So when you have a little downtime today, head on over to Free Rice and play whatever subject suits your fancy**. Just 5 minutes. See if you learn anything. See how much rice you donated.

http://www.freerice.com/

**Also, before you start playing, go to the options page and set it up so it remembers the total amount of rice you donate on a specific computer. That way, when you come back at different times and different days, it keeps track of the total amount of rice you have donated.

You can call me the manatee!

2008-10-05T08:00:00.000-04:00

So, last night I met this guy. We'll call him "the manatee." (If he ever randomly found this blog and put two and two together, he would know it was him). Anywho.

I know he's single. From overhearing a conversation with someone else (the person who probably brought him along that he knew in college). Just by chance we happened to be sitting next to each other for a couple of hours (while watching FSU squeak out a win over (f)UM....seriously, FSU owned the first half...the decided to let (f)UM score 36 freakin' points in the second half....but whatever...FSU won, all is right in the world for now).

So, back to "the manatee." So we chatted a little bit (this lady blatantly introduced us to each other when he came to sit down next to me). As the game wore on he was easy to talk to. We were able to laugh and joke about things. (if only I could have not mentioned so many mom stories...seriously...I kept telling my brain "quit mentioning mom" and then I'd be like "that reminds me of..." and into another mom story...at least my mom tends to be entertaining).

Anywho, so I don't know if there was anything on his side. He's definitely cute and I'd like to get to know him more. I don't know if he just felt I was uber awesome to talk to (I mean, 'cause I am awesome)...or uber awesome to get to know *nudge nudge wink wink* I did have a little cleavage showing, so that couldn't hurt, right?

I can just never tell with boys. We'll see.

Post-wedding Bridezilla

2008-10-04T11:00:00.001-04:00

A while back I read this entry on a blog I frequent. It's a food blog and the blog writer generally shares some little story before getting into her recipe (with fantastic food pictures!). I love her stories because I agree with many many things that she says. I am so picking up what she's putting down.

In this particular post, she talks about what she terms a "life sucker." To quote from her blog:

"I have a friend who is what I call a life sucker. Do you have one of these? You
know the kind of person who would complain, even if they won the lottery.
Nothing is ever good in their life (even when it totally is). The person that
when you get done talking to them you feel like you need a nap because they
sucked the very life out of you with their negativity. ... When I was trying to point out the good things in her life to her last time we talked she said to me, “of course it is easy for you, you have a happy life”. "

As soon as I read that, someone immediately came to mind. I too have a friend who is a life sucker. I tried to share my rant about my frustrating flying experience, but she wouldn't listen. She had to tell me about all the woes in her life. I feel anytime I try to tell this person something (good or bad) about my life, she needs to tell me how hard and trying her life is (even if it means cutting me off mid-sentence). She says some of the most ridiculous things. She whines for something, and if it is not exactly what she wants, she whines about it being not what she wanted. Then if you try to fix it to what she wants, she takes the road of "martyr" and say "no...it's ok..." Big thing, little thing, her life is nothing by one big woe. Even when she has had something trying (something to actually legitimately bemoan) that turned out to be a false alarm--she still laments about it. STILL. Because it could have been something bad. And bad things only happen to her. Or, if she will admit bad things happen to everyone, it's 10 times worse for her than everyone else.

It's such a constant thing that I have stopped hanging out with her socially. I will see her if we are in the same place, but I won't make any effort to specifically see her.

While I was visiting my parents last weekend, I made my parents watch Bridezillas (hey, I don't have cable so when I am visiting my parents is when I get to watch all the stupid trashy cable shows!). As I was watching this one episode, I was like "oh my word..." And my mom asked me what I was muttering about. I told her that the girl who is a life sucker--is a post-wedding bridezilla. She was fine during her wedding stuff, but now, watch out. I can understand women getting a bit of the bridezilla close to the wedding, because there is alot of planning and stressing and worrying about it--but that's supposed to be done after the wedding is over, right? Because all that planning and stressing and worrying is over. She has the same attitude as those ladies on the bridezilla show, but instead of things being centered around her wedding, it's just about her life.

She does have little glimmers of being normal and not so self-absorbed, but they are few and far between. At least I know that eventually I will move away and not have to see her ever again. I know that is kinda harsh...but..that's life.

Fiver-fer Friday? What's this you speak of?

2008-10-03T10:52:00.004-04:00

I have no idea what this Five-fer thing is...

On to randomness!

First--I would like to thank Chris from American Airlines for the comment. It is helpful (and comforting) to know that the airlines want to give the announcement, but that it doesn't always happen. I know there is alot of not good things with the FAA...but I thought they were in the process of updating all that old equipment! I don't know if I mentioned this in the blog, but some of the lack of info (like in my arrival into Charlotte Friday night and whether or not connections were missed) was probably just due to the sheer overload that most of the passengers probably missed their connections.

Second--for some reason I decided to retry soy milk. I think it's all those Silk commercials on. They are all like "it's delicious." I remember my first try I didn't think it was good, but it's been years so I thought I'd give it another go around. I tried it with some cereal. There was this taste that I thought was due to the cereal (it's a more "healthy" cereal...with loads of fiber and probiotics...and seriously after just a few days I swear my innards are all happy and crap). But I put the soy milk in my coffee...and that taste is there too. After I finish this carton of soy milk...I'm back to cow milk!

Third--The powers that be when it comes to research...are messing with me! My experiments are moving along....getting data...the end (of grad school for me) is nearing...and then the machine messes up. So I have to postpone experiments until the machine is fixed. Plus I need to repeat the last few experiments to see if my data was affected by the machine issue or not. GAAAAHHHHH!

Fourth--my favorite instructor girl at my gym has a tshirt she got for a specific class that reads "consider your butt already kicked." Oh...I am in for it tonight! My muscles are going to be soooo angry come Sunday. Hee!

Fifth--this election needs to be over with. I am sick of politics...I just want it to be done (and to know if I need to shift my post-doc hunt to Europe). But, that being said, I have never been so involved in politics before. I have gone to rallies, tomorrow morning I'll be canvasing for a campaign. I have never been so invested in one part winning before. So people, get informed on the candidates and VOTE!

Flying the Unfriendly Skies (aka...a long rant)

2008-10-01T11:17:00.000-04:00

I no longer like U.S. Airways.

I was heading out of Greensboro to (eventually) FL. I had a little hopper flight between Greensboro and Charlotte (the flight is like 25 minutes from take-off to landing). The weather had been yucky that day. Windy and rainy. I was prepared for delays. I am ok with weather delays. You can't do anything about weather delays....cause...it's weather.

So I get to the airport. Get my ticket, go through security, settle down at the gate. So far there is no word of our flight being delayed. The weather isn't bad at this time. They change the gate I am leaving from, that's ok...it's right next door, I can continue reading my book. I can see the plane I will be going on sitting there--I see them filling the fuel tank, starting to load some luggage into it. I just keep reading.

Another flight is boarding their plane at a nearby gate. I hear some gate agent say something about a flight to Charlotte being delayed. I perk up. Some guy sitting closer to this random gate agent person (not associated with the gate I am leaving through) asked what she said. And yup, over her little walkie talkie I hear some mystery person say that Charlotte has delayed our arrival. Now, I know we are delayed...but they have not announced it at the gate.

About 15 minutes later, they finally announce that our departure time is delayed an hour because Charlotte was allegedly shut down earlier in the day and they are trying to get back on schedule. They even say if you have a connecting flight before a certain time that you need to rebook your connecting flight because you won't make it. My connecting flight was abut 30 minutes later than their cutoff, so I was ok for the time being.

I called my parents to let them know that I was delayed, but as of then I would still arrive in Jacksonville on time (barring any other delays) and that I would call back if something changed. I talked to my mom for a little bit and then it was time to board the plane.

We board. We are sitting there. The cabin door is closed. We are still sitting there. I start wondering why we are not backing away from the gate. I look at my watch. It is a little before our departure time...so maybe we have to wait a few minutes. We sit waiting some more. I look at my watch...uh...shouldn't we be leaving? We sit some more. I hear the little alarm/bell thing of the walkway from the gate to the plane coming back towards the plane. That's not good. The cabin door is opened, some guy in the front row gets off. Ok, that was random. We sit there a bit more. Finally a flight attendant announces that we are delayed again and that if anyone is going to miss their connecting flight and don't want to get stuck in Charlotte they can get off the plane now. A lady about 5 rows in front of me yells to know what time we are leaving so that we can know if we will miss our connecting flights (she didn't yell in an angry way...it was more in a "so the flight attendants all standing at the front of the plane can hear me" way...and really, it was a valid question, because at this point we were supposed to leave about 15 minutes ago). Two people from the back of the plane decided to just get off the plane so they went to the front. The yelling lady stopped one of them and asked them to ask the flight attendants what time we were leaving so that people could know if we would miss our connecting flights. The two people get to the front of the plane. They are standing there for a couple of minutes...then get sent back to their seats. On the way back the guy told the yelling lady that they had no idea when we were leaving. Another 5 or so minutes later the flight attendants announce we are having mechanical issues and that should be repaired "shortly." Had we left on time (on time being from our delayed time to begin with) we'd already be in Charlotte at this point.

The lady behind me is calling the airline to see if her connection is on time and to see if she can get her name on a list for a later flight in case she misses her connection (because we still have no idea when we are leaving). The airline tells her that she will have to wait to get to Charlotte, see if she misses her connection...and if she misses it she can rebook then. Oh, fun. This woman's connecting flight was 10 minute before mine and her flight was delayed about 10 minutes. So I figured mine would also be delayed a little bit. And at this point there was nothing I could do because I was stuck on the plane and had no idea when we would leave.

We finally leave (about an hour after getting on the plane). We get into Charlotte. The flight attendant says that if your connecting flight was at x time or earlier, you may or may not have missed your flight. My connecting flight was at time x. At a gate on the opposite side at the airport. And it may or may not be there. Thanks for your wealth of info! As I am getting off the plane I get a text update about my connecting flight saying it is delayed 15 minutes. Which...gives me 15 minutes to try to get on the plane!

I get off the plane and am running barefoot through the Charlotte airport (I had on flip flops and they don't just lend themselves to running). I'm sure I looked crazy, but it's that crazy "that girl is trying not to miss her flight!" I get to the gate--there is one guy who got there before me and he just says "flight to Jax?" and the gate agent says (without ever looking at us or the about 6 other people who had also gotten to the gate right after me) that it has left and we'll need to rebook. So we all head to the line to rebook. (turns out that text message was wrong and my flight had left on time). In line we are talking and one guy says that our connecting flight was overbooked, so even if we had got there before it actually left all of our seats had probably been given to standby passengers. That's nice. Luckily, there is one more flight for the evening--otherwise there is not one until almost 11am the next morning. A group of 6 going to Jacksonville are right ahead of me in line--they all go together to rebook. I get up to the agent he asks "what?" and I tell him missed my connecting flight to Jax and I need to rebook. I hand him my boarding pass and he types away. Never saying a word. The guy behind me in line (who is also going to Jax) goes to the agent that just dealt with the group of 6. He tells her where he needs to go and she says "oh...there might not be any seats left--I think the last ones were with that group of 6" I'm thinking "NO!!!!WHAT?!?!" The agent dealing with me is still typing away...doesn't even make a sound. I am feeling defeated at this point...then he hands me my new boarding pass with a seat number...I got the last open seat on that plane (the guy behind me who got put on standby was able to get on the flight as well).

At this point I have about an hour to kill, so I go and get something to eat. It was horrible tasting, but it was food. We get on the plane, I am in the middle seat in a row of three, there is a lady at the window. There is a lull in the boarding so we think that maybe the flight isn't full, so as soon as I move over to the aisle seat, another wave of people come, so I move back into the middle. Eventually a girl takes the aisle seat and she is panting and out of breath. She also did the crazy person run across the airport. They held this flight a little longer, but I think it was because it was the last flight to Jax for the night and they were being nice and letting some late arrivers get there. Luckily the flight went by quickly since the three of us in our row chatted the entire time. So that was a nice thing!

I finally get to Jax, about 2.5 hours after my original scheduled time.

I figured my return flights would be ok, because the weather on both ends was great. My morning flight out of Jax was full, which they told us every 5 minutes over the PA. They wanted you to know that you had to board with your assigned zone. That if you were carrying on 2 bags, to put the larger bag in the overhead and the smaller one under the seat in front of you. Etc etc. But we got all boarded and were on our way.

I get to Charlotte, leisurely walk to my gate (no sprinting this time, wee!). It's getting to that time when we should be boarding. There is no plane at the gate. Finally a plane gets to the gate--those people get off, they start refueling the plane and the new flight crew gets on. Ok, we should be boarding soon. We are supposed to leave in about 20 minutes. In 10 minutes. NOW. I finally got up and went to the bathroom. As I was walking back to the gate, the gate now says that we are leaving later. Thanks, for announcing this gate people. We are waiting even more. The time for our delayed departure time comes. And goes. They have not said another word. I happen to look out the window and there is now a guy working on one of the engines. The man sitting next to me at the gate happens to see this at the same time and says "I guess we're not leaving any time soon..." I happened to look across the terminal and see there is another flight leaving for Greensboro in about 1.5 hours. I make a joke that maybe that later flight would get us into Greensboro faster. The man looks over, gets on his phone and he's considering rebooking on that flight! Hee. Before he can decide whether to rebook or not, the gate agent announces a gate change for us. yay! We don't have to wait for the plane to be fixed! The mass of people all go down to the new gate...but there isn't a plane there. Some other random guy goes "uh...did they realize there is no plane at this gate?" So we sit down and about 10 minutes later they announce that the flight that was originally supposed to leave out of this gate has now moved. So a handful of people get up and go. About 10 minutes later a plane comes up to the gate. They get off, we wait. And wait and wait. The flight crew walk across from the old plane to the new plane. Then some other random flight crew comes up. The gate agent comes out to them with some papers, points to some stuff and the random flight crew head to the broken plane. They finally start boarding. I am so happy I am in row 2 so that when this sucker lands I am off the plane immediately. We load and then we sit and wait longer because there was some issue with the number of passengers scanned on the plane and the number of people on the plane...and a couple of people tried to get on the wrong flight. The flight attendants were saying nasty things about the gate people being stupid. Finally, they close the cabin door. The guy sitting next to me is like "well...that's a good sign" I wanted to say "last time that happened on this flight we sat on the plane for an hour...." We wait a bit more. I make a joke about the later Greensboro flight and our flight having to race to see who could get to Greensboro faster. (hey...I liked my joke! hee...but seriously...the later Greensboro flight was most likely boarding before we took off)

We finally move. We get to Greensboro (about 2 hours late). I all but run off the plane and out of the airport. I am seriously irritated with U.S. Airways. Not for the delays, per se, but the fact that they didn't tell us ANYTHING. They would tell us we were delayed after we sat there wondering what in the world was going on for 20 minutes. When we could find out we were delayed from other sources except the gate person. And also, when 1/2 of my flights (over the span of 3 days) have mechanical issues with the planes, um...that's not a good record. Especially when those were not the first flight of the day and those planes had recently landed from coming from elsewhere. I've been delayed on other airlines, but they generally try to let those people know or have someone at the gate to answer questions right when you get off the plane as opposed to letting you run across the airport in a futile attempt to make a plane that left 10 minutes ago. I need to call the company I booked my flight through (that provided me with flight updates) to see where exactly they get their flight updates from and how come I only got 5 flight updates the entire trip (four saying that all 4 flight were leaving on time as well as the one (wrong) update saying a flight was delayed). And then to call U.S. Airways to tell them that they need to actually keep passengers informed of what is going on when there are delays so that we all aren't just sitting there wondering what the hell is going on and getting frustrated because we don't know anything (but I'll be nice about it). I had less than 3 hours of total flying time and about 4.5 hours of delays.

I know that this is a mild flying frustration. I know there are worse stories, but this is one that didn't need to be frustrating. And that frustrates me. But rant over!

Five-fer Friday

2008-09-26T08:59:00.002-04:00

Today, I will be leaving the cool, rainy, WINDY weather here and will be heading to nice, warm (ok, hot), sunny FL to go visit my parents (and my dog) and go watch the FSU/Colorado game (hey FSU, how about some offense this weekend? mmkay?). I just hope my flights are not delayed (or worse, canceled) because it is so windy. I need my phone-an-airplane-mechanic to see how windy it has to be before they will ground a flight. (side note: I actually know an airplane mechanic! hee!)

So, today's five-fer is my top 5 favorite FSU football moments. If you don't like football and/or FSU, you probably don't care about this.

FSU/UF game 1998: First FSU/UF game attended. My freshman year of college. It was a cold, rainy Saturday. FSU's defense was ranked first in the nation. The Gators...are the Gators, they allegedly had the best defense in the SEC. (Nicole=Gator Hater). Anywho, it was an exciting game. FSU won (although this was not as glorious as the "choke in doak"). Suck it bitches!
FSU/UF game 2000: "No. 2 brought to you by the letter "S"". This was my junior year of college. I went to all of the football games with a buddy of mine from high school (whom I called cheeky monkey, he called me grasshopper). We had pretty good seats, in the end zone right above the band. The FSU cheerleaders do this little dance to this song the band plays, and three of the male cheerleaders done these "F", "S" and "U" square things (that cover their entire body so if they stand with their arms and feet out--in a star-like shape--it looks like squares with the letter on it.) During the song the letter guys just dance around and then in the song when the crowd shouts "F-S-U" they jump out so you can read the letters. So the Gators had their mascot in the same endzone. I saw the letter "S." He was eyeing the gator. I elbowed cheeky monkey and said "S is going to attack the gator." Next thing I know, the letter "S" is running towards the gator and tackled him in the endzone. Hee!
Not sure what game, 2001: Plays with flair. Chris Rix's freshman year (he was a 4yr stater....) and FSU was in scoring position. It was a QB keeper and Chris Rix did a forward somersault over a defender into the endzone. It was one of his first few games (perhaps the home season opener?). It was fantastic to watch (and my seats were right in that endzone). Unfortunately, that awesomeness didn't last his entire tenure at FSU.
FSU/(f)UM 2005: The Streak is Over. Let me set this game up. I hate the Gators. But I HATE (f)UM. And no, the (f) I use is not to signify it being the Florida Miami as opposed to the Ohio Miami, it stands for fuck(ing). How much do I hate (f)UM fans? Let me side track you with a story. My first year here I was filling up my car at a gas station. I have FSU plates on my car. Some guy is like "hey!" I turn around and he is showing me his cell phone but he is far enough away that I have no idea what I am supposed to be seeing. He runs up a little closer and there for his background is the (f)UM logo. I told him I'm sorry he's a complete moron. He laughed and walked away. I wasn't joking. This rivalry spawned the "Wide Right" phenomena. It is a psychological ploy on FSU kickers that if the game comes down to a needed field goal to win, the FSU kicker (no matter how good they normally are) will miss it. Generally to the right. There was also a "wide left" thrown in there one year. Luckily, (f)UM missed a much-needed field goal so they can't rub the "wide right" thing into our faces as much as they used to....cause then we can say "remember 2005?" Anywho, FSU had lost to (f)UM for 5 straight years. That's a long time to be losing to a much-loathed rival. I was watching the game with some friends. The game is always difficult for me to watch. Things will be thrown, obscenities will be yelled. It's not pretty. At the end, when FSU had won, I remember laying face down on my friend's floor and asking if they had really won...because it was over...five long years. And the five year losing streak happened during the "Miami Muff"...of 2005! Hee! Suck it bitches (part deux)!
I also don't remember what year/what game. But probably 1998-2000. I don't remember the specific game. But it had to be during that time period when FSU was dominating college football. It was late in the game. We were waiting for a "tv timeout" to finish. The players were all on the field waiting. FSU's defense was on the field. The band was playing something. FSU had a comfortable lead. A handful of the defensive players start dancing in a line to the music. Hee!! It's always a good sign if your team is comfortable and relaxed enough to have fun during the game.

My Yin and Yang

2008-09-25T10:30:00.005-04:00

This intro has nothing to do with the post, but somehow this made me think of the topic for this blog. (don't dare try to understand the logic path my brain will take...)

I needed gas. The gas light had come on. I still had two more days of work commute plus I have to drive to the airport tomorrow. I need gas. I was on my way to work and stopped at my normal gas station. Out of 8 pumps, only one had gas. And that one pump had a truck (that was pulling a trailer) at it, with two cars waiting. Ehh. I'll go to the next station.

The next two stations I passed were completely out of gas. That's ok, there are two more near the next highway entrance.

Oh...but those two were also out of gas. At this point I wasn't worried, but thought I might have to skip work tomorrow (darn!) and call a shuttle to drive me to the airport if I wasn't able to find gas. Because I wasn't going to drive around looking for gas and then run out of gas myself. Plus, I knew the city wasn't out of gas, because it would be all over the news. There were two more stations on the other side of the highway entrance. The first one I get to...out of gas.

Now, let's tally this up. Out of 6 stations I had passed, I found one working pump. I see the gas station across from #6 has people at the pumps. Sweet! If I needed to wait, I was getting gas. This last station has 10 pumps, only 1 had the bag over it. As an added bonus, they didn't have the "please only get 10 gallons" sign up there. Plus they were on the cheaper side of prices here (right around $3.80 for regular). I didn't fill up, but I got right at 3/4 of a tank, which cost me $50. But I have gas!!! And I think I am going to switch to this other gas station as my regular one out of thankfulness that they somehow manage to have gas in this "crisis" (plus, it is across the street from my gym, so not out of my way).

So, somehow, my brain got onto what I consider my yin and yang. On the one hand, I am a hyper-organized, anal-retentive person. I make to-do lists for to-do lists. I have my clothes organized by color and item. My shirts are even divided by sleeve length and neckline (in addition to the by color). My flip flops are in their little door organizer by color. My underwear is organized by color and style. My socks are organized by length and color. My books have an organization scheme. (I have a Harry Potter shelf, a Civil War shelf, an Agatha Christie shelf, a paper back shelf and two shelves for the random variety of hardbacks I have). My CDs and DVDs are alphabetized.

I like to have things just so. I do not like you to touch my things (imagine Steve Carrell's character in The 40yr Old Virgin when he is getting a little uptight about his collector items being touched). I do not like you to remove things from my desk. I do not like you to put things on my desk. If you do happen to touch my desk, leave things how you found them. Now, I never say anything to anyone if they disturb my order. Usually they are so minute things that it isn't worth it. I can just think evil things about them and resume my order.

If it wasn't for my yang, I would be waaaay over the top. I would be the poster child for OCD/anal-retentive qualities. See, my yang is that I am lazy. Really lazy.

Those to-do lists usually don't get looked at after I make them. My clothes, while hyper organized, don't usually make it out of the laundry basket after I wash them. My books, there isn't that much removal of them, but when I do, it might sit beside my bed on the floor for awhile before I put it back up. Plus my shelves are overflowing (except the Harry Potter one) so I can just stack books on top of the ones lined up on the shelf. My DVDs might sit by my tv for a week before I put it back up.

My desk is so messy that you wouldn't know where anything is unless it was on top. Occasionally I'll see my boss rifling through a stack of papers on my desk looking for something he knows is there. I just sit and watch him, because if he would have asked me first I could have just given him the answer or know where to look to find him the answer. But I kinda enjoy watching his weekly hunt of futility. Because I know, eventually, he'll be asking me and I wonder if he will ever learn. Hee!

Instead of harping on myself for being lazy, I realize it is just a balancing factor in my life. It helps make me a well-adjusted person! At least that is what I tell myself so that I can continue being lazy. Because do you know how not lazy I would have to be to be not lazy? Just the thought of all that work makes me want to take a nap.

Stories of the Mailman: The Pervert

2008-09-22T13:40:00.004-04:00

When my mom is not busy delivering drugs, she's delivering shocking amounts of porn.

There is a man on her route that receives packages regularly. He gets so much that she finally asked him what he was getting--just out of curiosity. He told her "magazines" with a weird smile that indicated to my mom these weren't no National Geographic. She got confirmation that they were nudie magazines when a package arrived damaged so that they (the mailmen) could see inside. Yup. Porn.

She said he has a two car garage that is full of boxes of magazines--and now videos. Just this past week she delivered several 50 pound boxes of porn to him. The guy is married and his wife says he was supposed to start selling them...but hasn't...which is why they have a two car garage full of porn. My mom thinks that some of these are older magazines because some of the packages have the insured amount on the label and she said it isn't uncommon for him to receive $2000 worth of insured porn a week. Surely recent, uh, editions of porn magazines wouldn't be worth that much? (This is me assuming that nudie magazines are pretty similar in cost to other magazines, which could be very wrong.)

Our best guess is that, for whatever reason, he is buying this mass of porn, and plans to turn around and sell it to other perverts for a profit. Because, really, does any one person have the need for that much porn? I hope not!

Five-fer Friday

2008-09-19T10:51:00.000-04:00

Ok, as this goes on and on, week after week, um...it gets harder. So kind people (or person), if you want more than lame themes for my five-fers, then speak up and give me ideas. And just note that if they need to involve pictures, Blogger still is punishing me on that, so don't make them picture-dependent (I already have a couple of those ready for when I can finally regularly upload pictures).

Anywho---on to today's Five-fer....which is...5 things that I am doing this weekend.

Pedicure! WOOOHOOO!!! I only get one (or at most 2) a year. They are so lovely. And my toes look so glorious. Sure, it is a little later than I wanted to. But I needed to wait for softball to be over (don't need any stupid toe-stomping to ruin a pedicure!) So, ok, softball was over weeks ago. The pedicure isn't a critical part of my life...so it got pushed aside.
Watching football with a bunch of strangers. No...really. I don't know anyone who will be there. I know there will be a Joyce and a Bob. I think they are married. I don't know. See, I am joining the local Seminole Club (FSU fans for anyone who is confused) and there is a game watching for this week's Wake/FSU game. And why watch it with a bunch of Wake fans when I can watch it with my fellow Noles??
Working on my lecture. I don't actually give my lecture for a little over a month...but I want it to be as well put together as possible. Just to give a little reference on how long I usually take to put together talks, um, for my department seminars...I usually start a week in advance. And that's so that I have a couple of days for the final set of slides to sit and marinate, otherwise I only need 2-3 days. Those kiddies better realize how much effort I am putting in for them!
Errands. Exciting I know. But a girl needs groceries. And other random crap. I am trying to limit my Target excursions to once a month, since I am apt to buy little random things here and there (but seriously...the tank top was only $3 and I have a list of things I can wear it under). So if I only go once a month, I have fewer opportunities to buy these random little things. The trouble will be making sure I buy everything so that I don't run out mid-month. Which is fun seeing how some items I'm not sure how quickly I go through it.
GOING TO AN OBAMA RALLY! Woo hoo! Just a heads up--anyone near Charlotte, NC--there is a rally in downtown Charlotte on Sunday, Sept 21. It is free, but will probably fill up. Doors open at 11am. Stuff starts at 1pm. Google to find more details.

Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

2008-09-16T10:11:00.000-04:00

My doggie, Georgette. She will be turning 7 on her next birthday. She's an old dog.

My pooch grew up surrounded by cats. She loves cats! Except when they scratch her. But she learned early on that when she is barking in the cats face to get them to run away so that she can chase them, that she needs to turn her butt towards them if they hiss and are about to attack. Because a claw to the butt hurts less than a claw to your face.

My parents have this large screened in porch on their house. This addition is so big that it almost doubled their square footage. Long story short, they have a litter box they keep out on this porch so that the cats will crap in the litter box, and not my mom's plants.

A few weeks ago, my parents were smack dab in the middle of a typical FL summer. The kind where it rains every single day. It rains so much that you can't mow the lawn, because it is constantly raining in the afternoons when you are home from work. Which means the grass and weeds get really tall. Which means my dog does not want to pee in the yard.

One day, Georgette was on the porch and she went up to the litter box, put her front paws in the box, squatted and peed. My dad, who witnessed this event, about peed his pants from laughing so hard. When my mom told me about it, I rationalized that she has seen kitty after kitty use the litter box, so she figured she would as well since the yard was not up to her standards.

Except, this has become a daily habit of hers. She decides she wants to use the litter box every day. She does the same thing, walks over, puts her front paws in, squats and pees. Unfortunately, there is no way she could fit into that litter box because she is just too big. (I told my parents they just need to buy a bigger litter box...hee!)

So my mom finally decided to remove the litter box. Which she did. Except, now the cats are crapping in her plants again. Now she says she is just going to put the litter box somewhere that the cats can get to, but not my dog.

I just think it's funny my dog (basically) knows how to use a litter box.

Fingers Crossed: Update

2008-09-15T09:53:00.004-04:00

Well, we've heard news about almost every family member who lives in the Houston area. Everyone we got word about actually stayed in town, some went to other people's houses but no one left (not sure about one aunt and uncle, their daughter, her husband and their kids).

I wasn't surprised that people stayed in town, but I was surprised at a couple of aunts/uncles who either live in a trailer or whose house is in a known flood-prone area. But so far everyone is ok. There is of course some damage to houses and yards, and the worse damage I heard of for my family was a tree "fell into the middle" of a cousin's house. I don't know how much damage it did, but he just packed up his wife and kids, his generator and is staying with his brother.

I'm not worried about the few relatives who no one has heard from. They are in a position where they can easily pack up and go, so I assume they went somewhere, a mini vacation if you will, knowing that there would be some damage and days without power.

But a big sigh of relief. I have over 30 relatives that live in the area so it's good to know that they are ok.

Fingers Crossed

2008-09-12T11:36:00.003-04:00

Hurricane Ike.

This is a big, nasty hurricane. Our Chinese post-doc had asked me about hurricanes and such when Hannah was coming near NC (since I grew up in FL and while I have never been through a direct or near hit, I have lived through my share of hurricanes coming and going so while I'm not expert I have a good feel for when to be cautious and when not to be), and I said that us being so far inland and Hannah being a tropical storm and pretty disorganized, that we would be ok--we'd just get a little rain. I told him I was more concerned about Ike when it was still way out in the middle of the Atlantic. Over a week ago it was a big, nasty, organized storm. It was the poster child for what a hurricane should look like. Satellite images showed a perfect spiral of bands and a clearly defined eye.

Sure it weakened as it approached Cuba/Haiti/DR/etc. But then it was just going to go into the Gulf of Mexico after it went over those islands dumping more rain and bringing more wind to countries who have seriously been beat up by Fay and Gustav. The Gulf of Mexico is like Red Bull for hurricanes. The nice warm waters allow storms to reorganize and strengthen. And aim for somewhere along the long Gulf coast.

It now appears that Ike is heading straight for the Galveston/Houston area.

Where most of my aunts, uncles and cousins live. Thankfully, most of my relatives live to the north or west of Houston. But there are a couple who live between the Houston city center and the coast. There are so many relatives out there that I'm not sure who left and who is staying. But I'm nervous. I hope everything will be ok. I will be monitoring Ike's progression and eventual landfall closely. Ugh, I hate hurricanes.

Five-fer Friday

2008-09-12T10:25:00.000-04:00

Recently I was cleaning off baby laptop (I have two laptops: one I bought pre-grad school that is teeny weeny and I dubbed it "baby laptop" and my school laptop which is the anti-Christ of laptops). As I was going through files on baby laptop, I found things from my grad school application/interview days. Including my personal statement for my Wake application.

Now, I should say that Wake was the last application I turned in. Its due date was about a month after the other schools I applied to. And honestly, I applied to Wake in the first place because I had been looking at applying to other schools in NC, saw Wake, took a look...saw that the application fee was only $25 (when of the other schools I applied to, the cheapest was $55...just to apply).
I actually wrote all my personal statements separately. I could have just churned out the same one for every school--and some parts were the same for the earlier applications--but I wanted to put in the effort to write each school its own essay. By the time I got to writing the one for Wake...I was burned out on writing what I thought was an intelligent, thoughtful essay. I guess the pre-Wake essays I was writing what I thought the schools wanted to hear. But with Wake...I just didn't have the brain power to do that. So I was 100% honest and wrote what I actually thought.

I told my tale of how I entered college hoping to never ever ever ever ever EVER take a chemistry/biology course ever again (I left college with a biochemistry degree...whoops!). I talked about what brought me back to science and the slight modifications to my career interests post-college (which have since changed in grad school). It wasn't the most well-written essay ever (wasn't bad...but could have used a bit more polishing), it was honest and completely where I was at 5 years ago.

So today's five-fer is a short statement of where my brain has been at for each year of grad school.

year 1: Wee! Grad school! I'm going to learn so much!
year 2: Wee! Done with classes! Time for research!
year 3: (after prelims/quals) I am the stupidest, most idiotic person in the universe...how did I get into grad school? How did I get into college? How am I able to exist on my own?!?
year 4: I don't care anymore. (this was a trying year, heh)
year 5: I'm never going to graduate, am I? (this was the "I feel like I've been in grad school forever and will never get out" despair)

Now I am starting my sixth year of grad school (yikes!). I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am really starting to get a sense of finality to things. I don't feel smart, but I feel ok about science. Over the summer I really got some perspective on things that had been bugging me. I don't want to go into details or anything, but things make more sense now (good and bad) and I am ok with it. I know I will graduate. I know what I have left to do. Knowing is half the battle, right? (G.I. JOE!) Hee!

But you know what? Despite all the good times and horrible times, I know I will come out ok.

And with a Ph.D.

One is the loneliest number

2008-09-11T12:42:00.001-04:00

Last night I took a class at the gym with this girl who has to be my favorite instructor ever. Anywho, most of the class were regulars of the instructor's various classes. There are these two girls who are close in age to me, perhaps a couple years younger, who are teachers. In our normal places in the class, I am generally behind them. I noticed that the girl directly in front of me had an engagement ring (and perhaps a wedding ring...didn't look that closely). I had never noticed it before, so I don't know how new or not new it is. Then I noticed the other girl had at least an engagement ring on.

The other ladies who were around me are all older and I know they are married with kids etc etc. During the class...I started looking around at all the women I wasn't sure about and yup, they all had some sort of ring on the ring finger of their left hand. I know the instructor is married with kids. So I did the math, carried the one, didn't forget the remainder....I was the only single person in the class. Wow, that's a fun thought.

I don't really think about my singleness often (and by single...I don't mean just "not married" I mean no special man friend in my life). Except at times like those...when my singleness make me the outsider. The lone, rogue woman of the bunch.

Which, 10 minutes later that thought was out of my head because the instructor was feeling especially evil and had us doing lunges forever (and today...my butt is not happy with her).

Then today, in my daily blog perusals I find a link to this blog post. Please read that first before reading on...because the rest of blog is kinda the "other side" of this post.

Dating does suck.

You see a cute guy, you try to be subtle, yet give him a look that says you are interested. You hope he gets it.

If he does get it and comes over and talks to you, I am afraid of what will come out of my mouth. If I feel really nervous, I will either clam up or just talk nonstop. And when I talk non stop, there is not telling what idiotic stuff will come out of my mouth. Or if I will speak slow enough for him to understand (yes, I have spoken so fast that some guy asked me to repeat what I had said because he didn't understand a word).

If I don't scare him off at the point and there is a date. Then crap...I have to do another good performance. Plus the details of the date. How much info will he give you? What if he wants to be somewhat vague? (FYI--playing photohunt was always fun with my female friends while we were out at bars. The best ones were the nudie girl ones (the nudie male ones were just too scary). There would be a group of 4-5 of us sitting around the little monitor staring at two side-by-side photos of scantily clad women...and someone would yell "HER HAIR IS OVER HER BOOB IN THE PICTURE ON THE LEFT! Good times) What do you wear? That is so difficult to determine. If it is a dinner-and-a-movie thing...how dressed up do you get? You generally choose a couple of "safe" options. Like the jeans that make your butt look fabulous. And a nice top (ie-not a tshirt). Cute shoes (not that the guy cares). You want to look amazing, but not like you tried. Like you just took a quick shower and threw on the first thing you found in your closet. Not that you planned for days and days and consulted with friends, tried on thing after thing. Not that it took over an hour getting ready, making sure your hair looked fantastic (but again, like your hair just always looks fantastic), that your makeup was flawless, but still pretty natural looking.

And that's just getting ready for the date.

The actual date. You have to eat in front of someone you are trying to impress. You need to order something safe (that you won't possible spill all over you). You want to order something that won't be lurking between your teeth an hour later. Or give you horrible breath. Then the movie. Hopefully it's a comedy. Because I am a crier. I cry in most movies. There are movies that I did cry in...and I will fight to the death that I DID NOT cry in that movie, because I am ashamed to admit I actually cried in that movie. I don't want to be crying at some predictable romantic comedy on the first date. I don't want to cry at all on a first date to be honest.

Plus, when you are on a first date, you have that "first date aura" about you. People know. Your waitress will SAY SOMETHING TO YOU (yes, because you random waitress, are making me feel so much more at ease by going "oh--is this a first date? I remember my first date with my boyfriend/husband/whatever. I was so nervous...blah blah blah" and yes, I have had a waitress say that to me and my date before. Please woman, you are not helping.)

If the date went well, you want the guy to know...and you hope he enjoyed it as much as you did and wants to do it again. If the date went really well, do I give the guy a kiss? Would that freak him out? Maybe just a kiss on the cheek? I dunno. Wait, if I do kiss him, do I have bad breath? Did I ever do a secret check of that during the night?

You part. He said he will call. You wonder how many days you will have to wait. Or maybe you should call him? But wait, what if he was just being nice and he has no intentions to call you. No, I should wait for him to call. What if he abides by the code in Swingers? Ugh. To call or not to call, that is the question.

It's not fun. And if things don't go well, you have to do it all again with someone else.

I would like this for a first date: invite me over to your place. I can come in my "comfy clothes" (ie-my pajamas). My hair can just be thrown up into a ponytail. I might just wear my glasses. I will probably only wear concealer to cover any blemishes, but not a full face of makeup. We can order a pizza or some takeout. Drink beer. Watch Dateline (or ok, we can watch football...). Talk. There won't be any expectations. We'll just hang out. At the end of the night, we'll be honest. If we are feeling it...say so. If not...say so. If we want to make future plans, we'll say I'll call you on x day. No vagueness, no games, no jumping through hoops, no expectations.

And for me, I really haven't done the random dating thing. Most of the guys I've dated it just sorta evolved from friendships. Sure, I might have been interested early on, but it was a friendship first and just evolved into something more. So when we went on that first official date, there wasn't any real nerves. I already know this guy. He knows me. We are on a date so I already know he is interested in me more than just a pal. It's like getting a "go to Park Place" card and you get to go past Go, collect your $200 and skip Baltic Avenue and St. James Place.

But, being single, I have to prepared to play the dating game. Fun. I get to be the shoe.

Posting Indecision

2008-09-10T14:15:00.000-04:00

I seriously have a problem.

I have written about 5 different blogs since Monday. Oh, you haven't seen them? That's because I end up either not finishing them...or deleting them.

I get all excited about something I think might amuse my blog reader(s). I type it up. Then I'm like "ehh" and I go do something else. And for those blogs I just don't outright delete, I end up not posting it because I read a similar topic in some other blog or I see a little bit about it on the news or whatever and I think "that's not unique or anything...." plus, I don't want to seem like I am copying someone else's stuff.

This is not new either. For anyone reading that didn't know, originally I blogged on my MySpace page. Then I stopped the MySpace blog. Then I got rid of my MySpace page. Then I got this blog! Wee! Before I made the decision to stop my MySpace blog, I never had this problem...but here on blogger...it's constant.

Oh the number of posts that have been deleted or neglected. I wish blogger kept a tally of how many posts I have started--that would be a high number. It is just midday Wednesday and here are the posts that I have typed in the past week and their fate:

Responsibility (about some eco-responsibility and a friend whose head is shoved so far up her ass that well, she is ok with the earth going down in a ball of pollution flames because she won't be around--didn't turn out as well as I would have liked, have seen some previews of "going green" stuff on tv--got deleted)
Well, I was slightly productive... (about my mishap about sleeping until noon and decided it was to late to go into work anywho--got deleted)
Five-fer Friday (needs a bit of polishing...but will be posted Friday--and it's a cohesive topic!)
Happy Anti-Birthday to me! (I don't celebrate my birthday...with people (long story)...my birthday was pretty recent. I bought my some presents. Just because I don't celebrate my birthday doesn't mean I can't use it as a reason to buy things. Then I rationalized if I don't celebrate my birthday...why should I even post about it in the first place?--got deleted. Oh...and do not leave any comment containing the words "happy" and "birthday" because it will get deleted. I'm not being coy, I seriously don't celebrate my birthday. And no, it's not an age thing.)
I need a new hair girl (I am not unhappy with my current hair girl....but I'm not happy either. I was debating whether or not it is worth it to try to find someone new here in Winston when I will not be living here after 9 more months--saw a similar topic on another blog--got deleted)
BOOBIES! (a thoughtful post complaining about my boobs. Seriously. I haven't deleted it (yet). I think it contains relevant info for all you flat chested ladies to understand about having big boobs)
I've never watched "The Hills," but they may be onto something... (this was about my Tassimo machine and my fabulous made-at-home lattes. So, you've gotten to read about that...just not in this post. So it was deleted)

See--that is 5 blogs that you will never get to read. And that's just in the past week. Think of all the mindless ramblings of my mind that you have missed out on!

Oh...and then to add to it, while I was in the middle of writing this post, IE decided to be stupid and needed to close. Then when I thought about this blog again and started working on it...it was lunch time. Then I forgot about it some more. It's a wonder I ever post anything, really.

Fiver-fer Friday

2008-09-05T11:11:00.007-04:00

Today is going to be a cheat of a Five-fer Friday. I can't really think of any cohesive topic. It's random time! So here are five random things that popped into my head over the course of this Friday.

I recently purchased the Tassimo Hot Beverage thingy. It's one of those essentially coffee machines where you have some pre-measured stuff in a cup/disk/whatever, stick it in the machine and press a button and VOILA! Cup-o-coffee. I bought this particular one because well, I suck at making coffee and the Tassimo machine has disks for tea and hot chocolate as well as a variety of coffee-based stuff (like espresso, latte, cappuccinos, etc). Along with the machine I bought disks for regular coffee, hot chocolate and latte (which is actually two different disks: one espresso and one milk disc). The coffee was good (and now it won't ever be "how crappy did I make it today" coffee...it will be the same (good) EVERY TIME!). The hot chocolate was "ehhh..." but I am not a big fan of hot chocolate made with water. So...you know. But the latte...was...FREAKIN' AWESOME! Seriously. That is like the most exciting thing for me ever. I can make great lattes at home. And not pay $4 for it. Sweet. Suck it baristas! Hee! All I do is put in the espresso disk...press a button...remove espresso disk, put in milk disk and press a button...add a spoonful of my vanilla sugar...stir...and yum! Now I just need to drink the lattes daily to eventually recoup the cost of the machine. Cause...right now my lattes are costing me about $60 each. Give me a month and I'll have the number whittled down.
I need to do some data analysis today. The room that the computers are in is ridiculously cold. I am wearing a long sleeve tee and a little hoodie and I am still cold. It stays this temp year round, independent of how hot or cold it is outside. We have called people to try to adjust the temp. They ignore us. I stay freezing.
Do you know how excited I was last Friday night for Dateline to be back on? I was practically shaking with glee when I heard Keith Morrison's dramatic monologue. I love Dateline. I missed it so much. Yes, my life is sad and pathetic. But I can have oodles of lattes during my sad and pathetic existence watching Dateline on a Friday night. Have I mentioned how much I love my new ability to make great lattes at home?
Just when I thought I was going to need to destroy a $200,000 machine (because, you know...it was making me angry by giving me sucky data) and end the week on a crappy research note, things dramatically turned optimistic. I am on some early structure calculations...and...my protein looks like a blob! (this is a good thing). The $200,000 machine decided to play nice and not be an asshole and give me 8 hours worth of crap data like it did yesterday...and is giving me usable (although, not necessarily good) data.
It is 6:30pm. I'll be done with lab in about 20 minutes. It's Friday. It's raining (Hi TS Hanna!). But that's ok. My data isn't crap. There is Dateline tonight. I am having a latte tomorrow morning. WEEEEEEE.

Hope you enjoyed this crappy Five-fer Friday. I would promise that next week's won't suck...but...um...it might be all about my love of Dateline and my made-at-home lattes. Again.

Stories of the Mailman...for Joy!

2008-09-04T17:44:00.003-04:00

Ok, this story isn't so much about stupid people the USPS hires, but it is a funny/interesting story involving my mom.

For those that don't know...my mom's a (fe)mailman.

She's been on the same mail route for awhile now, so she is pretty familiar with what names belong to what houses and such. She was delivering mail in a neighborhood on a cul-de-sac that only had a few houses. She had a package for a last name at a house she knew was vacant. She also knew that the people who lived next door to the vacant house owned the vacant house (it had been an elder relative's house). So she decided to ask them if perhaps they had rented out the house to someone or had sold the house. They didn't. She asked several other people if they knew anyone with that name (in case someone had just put the wrong address down). (also...she wouldn't just give it to some random person...she would ask for ID and such...so it's not like someone would say "oh...I'm John Doe.." and my mom would be like "here ya go!")

Anywho, no one she talked to knew who this person was. She did think that there was someone on the same street with the same last name...but she knew there was no one at that residence with the same first name. So she shrugged it off and decided she would tell her supervisors about it and see what they thought she should do with it.

Oh, let me also say that the package was sent from Mexico and was covered in individual stamps.

So she got back and she mentioned it to one supervisor who told her to see if anyone called asking about the package because it probably was just sent to the wrong address.

Standard protocol would have been to return it to the sender if it is undeliverable. So my mom went around (being stupid) and telling the other carriers how she didn't think we should be sending drugs back to the hands of the drug dealers trying to smuggle stuff into the US. She thought it was a funny bit and went around telling that to anyone who would listen.

Another one of her supervisors was in the station and so she went and told that supervisor the story and what she thought...she pretty much said what the first supervisor said so my mom again went into her anti-drug shipping thing. The supervisor just told her basically to not run her mouth around the station.

So my mom went and did a little bit more work cleaning up her case before going home that day. While she was working the second supervisor came up to her and told her to come with her. My mom follows her and she is lead into an office with another supervisor (this would be supervisor #3). The two supervisors basically tell her to seriously stop with the drug story...

BECAUSE IT WAS TRUE!

When the second supervisor mentioned it to the third supervisor...they decided to look at the package...and eventually opened the package. Which turned out to contain what they thought would have been ~$50k worth of pot.

And the supervisors were telling her if anyone asked about the package to not say anything and just say that they need to call the station to get it. I was like "mom---you are involved in a drug smuggling scheme by chance!" And I told her that when this turns into some HUGE drug bust and she gets to like...go on Dateline...I will be so proud.

As a follow up to this story...remember that guy who lived on the cul-de-sac...and had the same last name? Well when my mom was telling me this story...I immediately jumped into her conspiracy theory thread and said "that guy is soooo a drug dealer!" Then she mentioned that the guy is ALWAYS at home during the day...and that he has a really big boat (this is a nice area of town...but not like UBER nice area...) and all sorts of random boy toys. Then I said "yes...definitely a drug dealer..." because I mean...he would know about the vacant house...and he would be too smart to have it actually addressed to him...so that way if anything happened...he would be free and clear...but had the package just been left at the house he could have casually went and picked it up. Now...nothing that we know of has happened since then...and there is no proof that this guy is involved...just wild speculation on me and my mom's part.

Not really a lecture, but it is going in my teaching portfolio anywho!

2008-09-03T10:29:00.004-04:00

Yes, so I have completed my first real experience teaching.

At 9am this morning, I sat in our grad school's "lecture hall" (Hanes 1064, for those in the know) and got blank stares by about 20 students...and my advisor. I got lulled into a sense of ease when I stepped up to the podium to get things set up and a girl came down and asked me if it was ok that she needed to leave early because she had a meeting. I wanted to say she could leave whenever the hell she felt like it, but I said that she could leave whenever she needed to and that I probably would be done about that time anyways.

I feel I did ok. I feel I did ok with what I had to work with, which, really, I could have told them to play with the online stuff themselves and just stood around answering questions if they had any.

When I tried to get them to participate, they just stared at me blankly. No, really kiddies, JUST SAY A LETTER ALREADY!!!!

When I asked if they were having any problems with the online materials...all I got was a sea of blank stares.

When I had finished going over everything I prepared, I asked if there were any questions. More blank stares.

I told them that was all I had and they could go. Most of them still just sat there. No. Really. Leave.

But..at the end of it all, I feel excited now. I feel good about it. I want to teach. This is what I want to do.

Now, we'll see how I feel in about 2 months when I am giving a formal lecture on glycolysis!

Way to leave things to the last minute!

2008-09-02T17:39:00.002-04:00

I am admonishing myself.

See, I want to teach. Me and a couple of other students in the department have bugged some faculty and developed a "class" for it.

I got duped into doing this "tutorial." For "online resources." Fine. Whatever.

At first it was no big deal, just show some kiddies how to use this online program. It's not complicated, but there are a few tricks and not obvious things about it. As it loomed closer I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to do. I mean, I have an hour. Some of this stuff there is no point for me to walk them step-by-step through, so I decided to use some examples from the problem sets.

Except, with the limitations of the online resources...it really whittled down problems that would really be appropriate to do with the online resources.

I still kinda shrugged it off. It's just to some newbies who may or may not listen to me for more than 5 minutes anywho. Especially since this is optional and outside of the normal class time. I told myself I had all of labor day weekend to think about it and finalize everything. Which, of course, I didn't think about it at all.

So here I sit on Tuesday afternoon. I do this thing tomorrow morning. I'm not nervous about talking in front of the kiddies (and the growing list of faculty members who are like "hmmm...maybe I should see what's available..."). I'm nervous that it will be pointless, that the kiddies will get nothing out of it. I don't know what else to do really. Plus, I'm lazy and don't feel like putting in too much effort to show the kiddies how to point-n-click to use the online stuff. Don't get me wrong, I am outlined how I am going through everything and what examples to use and things to point out. So I'm not just winging it.

Anywho, I will try to put up a post about how it went tomorrow. Hopefully I will get a couple of kiddies who found it helpful. That's all I ask for.

Five-fer Friday

2008-08-29T10:43:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been cooking most of my meals at home and bringing my lunch to school regularly. I find myself eating much more fruit and veggies...even if one of those veggies is broccoli. Every week. Seriously. I go through like 4 stalks a week between cooking with it and snacking on it. I like broccoli.

As part of preparing more of my own food, I have been planning what I make. I literally write down what I plan to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner each week. That way I know what I need to get from the store ahead of time, and I have actually been using up things and not throwing away spoiled food. To help broaden my food horizons, I have been trying new things or retrying things I haven't had in years. So today's five-fer is five of the new foods I have tried (or retried as it were...)

Almond Butter--now I love peanut butter, I actually don't eat it all that often, but it is just delicious and comforting. And, come on!, a PB&J sandwich with a glass of milk? Delightful. I had been wanting to try almond butter for awhile. I rationalized: I like peanut butter, I like almonds. The kind I bought was a "no stir" kind (I guess more of the non-national brand nut butters tend to separate and need to be stirred). The oil used for it is a little strong tasting, but I really like the flavor of the almond. This particular nut butter isn't as sweet as the national PB brands (think: Jif, Skippy, Peter Pan, etc) so it actually pairs well with some uber-sweet strawberry freezer jam I made this summer. So I will be eating more AB&J sandwiches!
Star Fruit--I remember as a kid liking star fruit...and it was awesome, because when sliced it was...STAR SHAPED! I saw some at the HT and bought one. I got it home, sliced it all up...took one bite...and threw the rest away. It could have been I got a under- or overripe fruit. Or maybe I just don't like it. That coupled with how expensive they are...I won't be buying star fruit again.
Non White Rice--I like rice. Seriously. It is my preferred carb (ahead of potatoes, bread and pasta). I have always just bought long grain white rice. Because that's American. But then I thought I'd give some other rices a chance, especially since I bought a cheapie rice cooker (on sale for $6...woot!) and can just throw in the rice and water and press a switch and walk away. So I saw this brown basmati and red rice mix...that had some other stuff like barely pearls or something. I thought that's a good thing to try. And, I don't hate the stuff, I actually like the texture of it--some stuff in the mix has a slight crunch to it (not crunchy, really, just you know, more substantial than fluffy white rice). But alas, I can't deny it. I am a white-rice kinda girl.
Onigiri--I will seriously OD on this stuff sometime soon. Onigiri are basically rice balls. They can have fillings or not. You take sushi rice (or any shorter grain rice that will stick together--brown or white) and make it into a ball, put a little filling in there (anything salty and not too oily or watery, I've had tuna+mayo and dill relish+mayo) make sure the filling it inside the rice and press it all together. You can shape it into the more traditional triangle shape and there are even fun molds where you can shape them....like...as an elephant's head! Hee! (and yes...I have bought that mold so I can have elephant-head shaped onigiri). It sounds so basic and not particularly delicious...but I find this stuff magical. Seriously. The next filling I plan to try is crab+avocado. I can't wait. It excites me.
"Sesame Brittle"--there is this pancake mix I LOVE that I get at World Market. I had ran out over the weekend so I went to stock up on more. While I was at World Market, I had to browse around. I found this little sesame candy thing. It was like $0.50, so I thought I'd give it a whirl (cause...I like sesame seeds!) This stuff is best described as sesame brittle. Except, as opposed to peanut brittle where it's a handful of peanuts in a sea of brittle, this stuff is a little rectangle of sesame seeds bound together with the stuff. So basically you get the bit of sweetness with the brittle part, but you can still definitely taste the sesame seeds. This stuff is my new favorite candy stuff. Each pack comes with 4 rectangles (that are about the size a domino, albeit much thinner). I somehow rationed those 4 rectangles to last 3 days. Heh. This weekend I will definitely be stocking up.

Late Night Fill of Phil (hee! pun!)

2008-08-22T10:46:00.004-04:00

Ok, that was a lame title. Get over it.

As has been our relationship (via tv, that is), I spent another late night with Phil Dalhausser (oh yeah...and I guess he has a partner to...that guy..with the facial hair...or just hair in general, really). But this late night ended with Phil and the Hairy One getting gold medals in men's beach volleyball.

So, with the last crushing spike of the ball (by my beloved, Phil) that won the third match and thus won the gold, there erupted much excitement...and...much man touching.

Many guys have some sort of phobia about touching other men, unless there are balls and stuff involved (double entendre included). In sports, it is ok to pat your teammate on the ass. Granted, you also probably throw in a fist bump to keep up the macho-ness, but ass-touching is A-ok!

Winning the gold brought out the man touching. Here is the proof. Now, that is extreme man touching. Live it was more of a man-tackle turning into a deep, exciting, horizontal man-embrace.

I don't mean anything negative about it...but it's true. Yes they just freakin' won an olympic gold medal, and honestly, I'd probably soil myself if I was in that position. But the man love was in full force.

Consequently, in an earlier blog, I was wishy-washy about me finding Dalhausser attractive. After seeing his official team photo time and time and time again, I am no longer wishy-washy. Phil Dalhausser is an attractive guy.

So Phil, call me!

Five-fer Friday

2008-08-22T10:46:00.000-04:00

It's that time of the week! This Five-fer will be a movie review of Redbox movies. I have finally rented 5 movies from the Redbox and I will now list them starting with my least favorite and ending on my favorite.

Redbox Movies

Flawless--Ok, so I must first confess that I was thinking this movie was another movie. But when I realized it wasn't the movie I thought it was (this was when it got to the DVD main menu) I saw it had Michael Cain in it (that's usually a good sign) and had Demi Moore in it (I thought...meh). It's not a bad movie, it's ok. It just kinda feels like it's been done before (story-wise).
Juno--I had high expectations for this movie, so that might sway my thoughts a little bit. It was a good movie, I just didn't think it was great. I was happy that what I thought was the best part of the plot they don't even hint at in all the previews. It's definitely a movie that most people would want to watch though. I just didn't think it was as great as the media portrayed it to be.
Meet Bill--I was hesitant about this movie because of Jessica Alba. I feel she is kinda 'meh' and you know, just could bring the movie down (I feel this way about Jessica Simpson too--I liked the story of Employee of the Month, but think that she is so idiotic and overrated that I didn't like the movie AT ALL). Anywho, the description of this movie on the Redbox thingy was spot on. It's kinda one of those movies that's not great, not bad, but there is just something charming about it. Aaron Eckhart is great in this movie, and his facial expressions are so funny. There are several laugh out-loud moments in this movie (which wasn't so good when one was right after I took a big sip of coffee and ended up spitting it all over myself).
The Other Boleyn Girl--This movie took multiple trips to the Redbox to get. I felt it was such a good movie. I tend to enjoy fictionalized history movies (you know, based on real events but with some creative license to the details), so this is right up my ally. I thought the storyline and acting in the movie was great--one minute you would feel bad for one of the Boleyn sisters (which, side note, I didn't realize Anne Boleyn had a sister!), the next you felt she was getting what she deserved. I thought Eric Bana was great playing Henry VIII (more than just the chubby, tyrannical guy you typically see in picture of Henry VIII). I will be watching this movie again (might buy it at some point).
Waitress--I Loved Loved Loved! this movie. It was so cute. You'll laugh one minute, cry the next. I think Keri Russel did a fantastic job in this movie. Plus, Nathan Fillion is pretty easy on the eyes. You should definitely watch this movie! I will buy it the first time I see it in a store(oh, Target, why don't I ever see it in your store!)--I don't care if it cost $20 or whatever. LOVE this movie.

Yay! Cookies!

2008-08-21T11:54:00.006-04:00

So I was all eager with my Nicole vs. Cupcake blog idea. I even baked 2 different cupcakes and wrote the blog entries all up. But since blogger will not let me have my fun and post pictures, the cupcake baking is put on the back burner.

But that doesn't mean I'm not baking. I find something theraputic about making stuff from scratch (well, really measuring out stuff and watching my stand mixer do all the work).

Every Christmas, my department has a cookie extravaganza. Basically it's "bake stuff and bring it into the office for everyone else to eat." This is good/bad because I am in the lab closest to the office, and we have some terrific bakers in the department. So normally I make snickerdoodles. I tried making the same recipe, that has given me GLORIOUS results every Christmas, a few weeks back and it was just kinda...eh. Not bad but not GLORIOUS. I tried another recipe and the same thing. I think it might have something to do with the temp/humidity level in the summer vs. the winter that is affecting the texture and all.

Anywho, so I decided to find some new cookie to bake. Why not chocolate chip? The recipe on the back of the Nestle Tollhouse bag is meh. It's ok...but not that great in my opinion. I found another recipe online for what was supposed to be the best chocolate cookie EVER. So, just to be safe I compared it to the Tollhouse recipe and there were a couple of differences and I decided to give it a whirl.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I have found my chocolate chip cookie recipe. Recipe by Rachel Rappaport at Coconut and Lime. I added my changes/notes in green.

1 cup + 6 Tbsp flour
1/2 tsp kosher salt (I use table salt without iodine)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temp
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1 egg, room temp
1 tsp vanilla
8 oz. chocolate chips (yeah...I never measure this out, I just kinda dump them in. Most bags are 12 oz, I try to estimate 2/3 of the bag)

Preheat oven to 350. Lightly spray one cookie sheet with spray oil (I use butter flavored faux Pam). Combine flour, salt and baking soda in a medium bowl. In a large bowl cream the butter and sugars together until light and fluffy (I start the butter and sugars creaming in my stand mixer, then measure out everything else and spray my cookie sheet, unfortunately, I haven't timed how long this takes me--but my end color is much lighter than even light brown sugar). Add the egg and vanilla and combine thoroughly. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the sweetened butter. Once combined, add chips and distribute evenly using the mixer on the lowest setting (ok, I make sure I am right by my mixer when I do this because sometimes it will hit a chunk of chip-filled dough just right and my mixer will jerk. I don't think it would fall over or anything, but in case anyone has this issue...my mixer will occasionally rock). Form cookies by dropping 1 tsp of dough on the sheet two inches apart. Smoosh them down a little then bake until light brown, about 12 minutes. (I use a cookie scoop (essentially a mini ice cream scoop) I'm not sure what size it is, but I generally get a between 24-30 cookies out of a batch, so it's close to a tsp). With the fresh dough I only bake 8 minutes and they are perfect--except for the left most cookies are a little extra brown at the edges, but that's just because my lovely apartment oven doesn't heat evenly)

Now, I have never baked the entire batch at one time. There is a definite decline in the absolute tastiness of the baked cookie as it sits over a few days. So I scoop out the entire batch and freeze most of them in tupperware. That way, when I want some fresh baked cookies, I just pop a couple on a cookie sheet and voila! Now, for my frozen dough I like my cookies medium rare. So for my perfectly medium rare cookies, I turn on my oven to 350. Plop the cookies onto a butter-flavored faux-Pamed patch of foil (I am lazy and don't like doing dishes) and put them in the oven (I know the oven is not warm yet, this is just my process). I take them out 11 minutes later and they are perfectly medium rare. Now, I find that with the cookies being medium rare, they do better to sit for about 10 minutes after coming out of the oven, just so they can "set" a little more. This will all be different based on the behaviour of your oven and how you like your cookies. If you have a built-in light for your oven, use it. That way you can at least get a sense of how far along in the process they are cooking (ie--how much they have spread out). It's always better to open the door as few times as possible.

I have made this recipe several times and it has not failed me yet. It's pretty quick and easy to get from start to warm cookies. Try it, you'll thank me (and Rachel for actually coming up with the recipe)

Hip Hip Hooray! (not to be confused with Hip Hop Hooray)

2008-08-18T13:25:00.000-04:00

This is an obligatory Olympics post. There are rules that all bloggers must discuss it. Well, technically I already have, but more more more!

So, Mr. Phelps has secured himself a spot in the record books for winning 8 gold medals in one Olympics. And a couple of those races were nut cutters. I think it makes it more interesting that he just squeaked out a couple of his gold medals as opposed to him just completely obliterating the field.

Also, Walter Dix, who I mentioned waaay back when I talked about the US Track and Field Olympic Trials, won bronze in the 100m men's event! Yay! I was so excited, him being a fellow FSU alum and all. So, whenever they were talking about Walter Dix, they usually mentioned FSU. This is how it would unfold:

Random Announcer #1: in lane 3 is Walter Dix, who recently was running in the NCAA at FSU (insert a squee from me)
Random Announcer #2: Walter Dix, who ran for FSU (insert squee from me), usually finishes better than he is expected too
RA#1: Walter Dix needs to run his races better, he is no longer at FSU (me: squee!)

You get the picture.

Also, the Olympics are seriously getting me on a bad sleeping cycle. I mean, I absolutely MUST stay up to 1:30am so I can watch Todd Rogers and Phil Dalhausser play beach volleyball. (side note: is it just me or is there something oddly attractive about Phil Dalhausser, the man is freakin' tall and all...and I wouldn't say he is uber hot or anything...but yet, I find myself staying up until 1:30am to watch him....if it was just Todd Rogers...eh). But staying up until 1:30am and then trying to get up by 8:00am. Not fun. Not pretty in regard to the dark circles and under eye puffiness from the lack of sleep. But it's ok. I'll still stay up late to watch Phil Dalhausser.

Since I've segued into Olympic boys who I find cute....I absolutely ADORE Brendan Hansen. So, ok, that's not the best photo...but he's in a speedo...hee! Anywho...he is so adorable. I felt so bad for him when he didn't get a spot in the 200m breaststroke at the US trials and then didn't medal in the 100m breaststroke. So sad. Plus, now that swimming is over...it's even MORE sad because I won't see him on tv now.

Five-fer Friday

2008-08-15T13:53:00.000-04:00

Last week, I told you about my celeb man crushes. Well, ladies, now it's your turn. Same rules apply as last time: only a couple of girls are long-termers on this list, this list is subject to change based on my whims.

Female Celeb Crushes

Mandy Moore--I just think she is so pretty. She looks good with varying hair colors and lengths. It just makes me jealous. Especially when I bring in a photo of her hair to my hair girl and say "I want that hair" and hair girl informs me that my hair looks nothing like Mandy Moore's hair. Exactly.
Rachel Bilson--This girl is cute as a button. She is a wee thing and she is just so gosh darn cute. I imagine I'd want to pick her up and put her in my pocket. Or something.
Kiera Knightley--Ok, so I know Kiera can sometimes look really emaciated. And she tends to talk through her teeth. But I just think she's pretty. And I like the movies she's been in. And I included this particular picture (that although isn't a shot of her face) because it shows the stunning stunning green dress from Atonement.
Rachel McAdams--I also just think she is so so pretty. And I am a fan of the movies she's been in...especially Mean Girls. Hee! Oh...don't hate...you know you like that movie too!
Tina Fey--What is not to love about Tina Fey? She's pretty. She's smart. She's funny. I love her in glasses too.

Mais non, bitches!

2008-08-11T11:39:00.004-04:00

So, first off, let me state that I am soooo on Team Phelps. I am all for this guy winning 8 freakin' gold medals at the Olympics.

Anywho, so last night was the final of the men's 4x100m freestyle relay. This was one of the races that Michael Phelps did not win gold in last year (the US team got bronze). The US team was not favored to win this event--the French team was.

But then, one of the French swimmers, Alain Bernard, supposedly said something about how the French were not worried about the Americans because they were going to smash the US team.

It was an amazing race and the US team won the gold by 0.08 seconds. As well as crushing the WR by something like 4 seconds (although, to be fair, the top 5 teams in that final all swam faster than the old WR).

So that's 2 gold medals for Phelps, with 6 more events to go!

Five-fer Friday

2008-08-08T10:17:00.001-04:00

Today I will share my five male celebrity crushes. Now, I must say that this list might change next week (or really, tomorrow). Only a couple of the people are long-termers. Some come and go depending on if they've been in movies/tv/whatever recently or you know, I watched some old movies they are in.

Famous Boy/Man Crushes

1.) Jim Gaffigan. The LOVE of my life. He's a comedian. He's older. He's freakishly pale. He wears women's blouses. And thongs. It's love. I hugged him once. It was magical. (I would post a picture...but blogger hates my pictures.) Just search on youtube for his name and "hot pockets" or "holidays." The "hot pockets" bit is probably his most famous one. My favorite bit is his "holidays" bit. I love him...there is nothing more to say.

2.)Colin Firth. He's adorable. British. Seems like a nice guy (in person and all). And how could you not love him after Bridget Jones's Diary??? And in Love Actually? And in Pride and Prejudice? And in like, everything he's been in. So cute.

3.) John Krasinski. He's cute. He has an essence of dork to him. I love him on The Office and I am deeply involved in the Pam/Jim romance on that show. Uh...I guess he can get bonus points because he is close in age to me? Heh.

4.) Henry Ian Cusick. He plays Desmond David Hume on Lost. (and I love me some Lost!) He is so dreamy. He's (half) Scottish (I think Irish and Scottish accents are the sexiest thing EVER). He just oozes man sexy.

5.) James Marsden. He's a more recent one, being in 27 Dresses. But he just has some classic good looks to him. And he has a really nice smile and his eyes get all crinkly and squinty. Two things I love (nice smiles and squinty eyes).

Booo Storms!

2008-08-04T11:25:00.003-04:00

There were some crazy storms that popped up Saturday afternoon. Heavy rain, strong winds and hail.

It knocked power out, knocked down huge trees/tree branches--general storm shenanigans.

There were some trees that got damaged in my apartment complex, but thankfully not the one right outside my apartment (because I would have definitely ended up with a tree branch through the window).

But it did break my poor little tomato plant stalk. Before I was even able to get a single tomato! (and there were about 10 little green guys just waiting to ripen). Can you make fried green tomatoes out of little cherry tomatoes? You know, instead of slices just little balls of fried green tomatoes? Hmmm...

Five-fer Friday

2008-08-01T14:51:00.005-04:00

I had another list that I was going to post today, but I decided to save it for another week. Today's Five-fer Friday is just a list of random things on my brain today, because my brain is random, at best, today.

my usually questionable/weird data is still being so. I was so excited about the potential results from this new batch of experiments, and while the results might still pan that way, my excitement has fallen a notch or two. Luckily, my advisor is still optomistic enough to keep me going.
I write a post about Cute Boy. And who do I see like 10 minutes later? Cute Boy. It was just basically a glance because I was in the middle of something and didn't have time to stop and say hi. But I saw him. And he saw me. The dorky behaviour will continue.
Ok. John McCain complains that the media is devoting more time covering Barack Obama than him. So first the media reports on the fact that they are spending more time covering Barack Obama and not John McCain. Then John McCain paid for advertisements that spend most of the time focusing on Barack Obama. If the media reporting bias is there...how about this...1) the media back off on the Obama time and 2) McCain air advertisements that tell us who he is and what he is about...as opposed to spending millions to talk about Obama.
Tax free weekend is upon us. I will definitely be stocking up on some pens, sharpies, highlighters and legal pads. Plus I'm going to buy a bigger jump drive (mine is just a wee 128MB...I've had it since that was an acceptable size). Plus if I find any clothing that suits my fancy (just basic, everyday stuff) I will purchase that too. And with no tax. Woot. It's too bad that I haven't found a new laptop yet--then I would buy that this weekend too. But I'm not rushing the new laptop purchase, I want to make sure I get exactly what I want.
It's August.

Boy Stories: The Crush

2008-07-31T13:31:00.001-04:00

Ok, so I am single. In my experience here in grad school, I find that the guys I think are cute/funny/nice, you know, worthy of my attention are not available. Many of the single guys I have met, um, let's just say I understand why they are single.

So, there is this one guy I very casually know. Emphasis on the very. We'll call him Cute Boy. He is just super adorable. He seems really nice from what I can tell. I definitely have a little crush on him. I have no idea if he is single or not.

See, the problem is, usually when I get that initial little crush on a guy, I can't speak to him. I get so shy and nervous that I can't say anything at all, because I know if I open my mouth, stupidity will flow out. Or if it's not completely stupid, I will be talking at warp speed and he won't understand a word I am saying. Either way it's a lose-lose.

This guy, when I am around him I have to really try to not stare at him. I feel like all I do is stare at him--and that can be a tad bit creepy. Because I'm sure I'm making some strange face when I stare at him. Which is then extra creepy.

But...I swear there have been a couple of times that I have caught him looking at me. I could be totally insane...and...wrong. But I don't know. I'm so dorky and cliche that if we make eye contact at all...I look away (and probably blush or something).

I just wish I knew his dating status. You know, someone say something about Cute Boy's girlfriend/fiancee/wife/male companion/etc. or lack of girlfriend/fiancee/wife/male companion/etc. Because then I at least know whether or not to still be dorky and cliche. Because the second I find out a guy is not available, my brain can turn off the crush and all the dorkiness and 12-yr-old girl behaviour that comes with the crush.

For instance. There was this guy here at the med center. He was tall and cute and dreamy. The one time I more than just said hi to him...I was so nervous...like seriously on the verge of hyperventilating. Anywho, I found out later he was not single via a conversation about his fiancee (now wife). And you know what? I can talk to him so easily now--and we get along really well. Once the crush was no more, I am my normal, charming self.

Now, if anyone leaves some comment and says something like "just go talk to him" or "grow some balls" or something (yes, you Erin...). Oh...you do not know me at all. I am a chicken. I am not bold.

I will continue to be nervous and dorky around him. 'Cause that's how I roll.

And probably why I don't have a boyfriend. Heh.

Quads of Hate

2008-07-30T10:57:00.004-04:00

Softball.

Still going on. Although now the "regular season" is finished for us...and the playoffs start next week. They have typically been the type where you have to lose twice to be out. So we have at least 2 more games. Plus we have no idea who are when we are playing yet.

Anywho, so I blogged before how I have been generally not wanting to play (sorry, too lazy to go back and find the post and link to it). The last two games we have been tight on players...which meant I had to play. I got put at second at both games. I am comfortable at second. It's fine. I'm not terrible...but I'm not winning any golden gloves either. My one complaint when playing is the guys yelling during plays. Or I should say yelling at me (not in an angry way..in a "the game is in full swing and I need you to hear me" way). See, in my head before the batter gets a pitch, I mentally go over a couple of scenarios. Like if I catch a line drive and there are people on base, which base I am going to turn to to try to get a double play. Because then it's just doing and not thinking once the ball has been hit.

So, a guy came up to bat. Many guys doubt that girls have any softball skills (sometimes true, sometimes not). So if they are the type who can hit wherever they please...they like to aim at girls thinking they can't make a play. This guy was up to bat. Dude...I so saw how you were standing in the batters box. You were aiming to the right side. There were runners on first and second. I decided that if it was a line drive I caught, I would go to first to try to get the second out (would be more natural being a righty and being more natural to throw in that direction). If it was on the ground I would go to second and hope the shortstop could get the double play (even though that would put a runner on third). I was READY.

So the guy hits the ball...and it is a line drive straight at me. I caught it and had already turned my body towards first...then the shortstop (and I believe others too) are yelling "SECOND SECOND!" See, they do this and my brain doesn't work in warp speed like that. By the time I look and process the person is already back on second. Then...people are yelling "FIRST FIRST!" so by the time I turn and process (and I did throw because the girl on first had ran a little further from the bag), it was too late, she got back in time. I was irritated because if they just don't yell at me...we would have had two outs. But whatever...we got one.

Anywho...that's a little side tracked from the purpose of this blog post. So we had two games on consecutive days (one was a make-up game due to the freakish storm that just hovered over part of the city for about an hour...) and I played second both games. And today my quads are like "I HATE YOU" with every step I take. They are so sore. Now, I know I haven't been going to the gym regularly and all lately...but this is some serious pain. I feel like I've been doing squats for two days straight.

Oh...but wait. I kinda was. When I thought about it, I do squat down a bit when I am getting ready for a play. So that means with each pitch I squat down a bit and come back up. Who knows how many pitches are thrown in a game. So that's how many half squats I did. And my muscles hate me now.

I also have some soreness right at the bottom of my ribcage in the front. Not sure why...but there you go.

And yeah, my back and arms and calves and butt and hip flexor and pretty much everything is at least a bit sore. By my quads HATE ME.

Which is why I have decided enough pansy-footing around and am getting myself back to going to the gym regularly.

Starting tomorrow. Heh.

You can't handle the truth!

2008-07-29T11:16:00.003-04:00

I have a link to PhD comics over there to the right. See? (it's the one that has the link "the story of my life"). As a grad student...that stuff is pretty true to life. It's....eerie. It's like they are watching me.

Anywho, from time to time, certain comics fit perfectly with something I did. The comic posted on Friday is one of those.
(I can upload pictures from links with NO PROBLEM...but from my computer...NO!) See, me and two other students in my department are working with a faculty member to design a course to get us teaching experience (since we have no required teaching). The three of us met with the course director about the proposed layout of the class. We were not terribly thrilled. Essentially we were just TAs and would not get any opportunity to present a lecture. We talked for an hour with the course director and came up with some suggestions for changes.

The next day, we get an email from the course director with the subject line "good news." Well, good depends on who you ask. Some parts of the course design were better, some were not. For the grad students, it was a ton of work with very little reward. I spoke with one of the other students interesting in teaching and we were on the same page about what we thought about the current course design and came up with a counter proposal. We decided we only needed to send one email between the two of us, so I said I would do it being the senior grad student.

I didn't intend for it to be a long email, just basically say "hey, I talked to so-and-so and we think we should change this and this, keep this. what do you think?" That's the gist of what I intended to say (except, you know, with better grammar).

The email turned into a long, eloquent email. I mean, I was quite proud of it. I did pat myself on the back about it. Granted, it took me a day to write it. That's not constant writing (or typing), but I would type something...go do some lab work...reread it, add something, edit something, lather, rinse, repeat. By the end of the afternoon I felt it was ready to be sent. I am glad I let it stew all day because there were some things that popped into my head later in the day that were very valid points to make that just weren't there in the morning.

I sent the email to the course director, because I figured any reply would be to the three students and they could read my email then. The course director thanked me for my long and carefully thought-out email. I patted myself on the back...AGAIN. Heh. We got a little more compromise in the class layout, and it was enough for me to be ok with (because honestly, the semester is starting soon and we could go back and forth on nitty gritty details for months--and the party being a stickler isn't going to change being a stickler...even though other faculty members have agreed that he is being unreasonable!).

I talked to the same student after the course director's second reply and we kinda agreed that the layout wasn't the best ever, but ok enough. Then the student praised my email! More patting of my back! She said she wouldn't have made half of the points I made (I think my favorite point in the email was that all parties involved needed to be happy with the results and benefit from the class--students taking the teaching class, the teaching class course director, the class director of the course we are invading and the students will be teaching). I did confess that it took me ALL DAY LONG to write (because, it wasn't like I wrote that sucker on the fly) but that I was happy with it.

So, although it took me a day to write one email....it was a damn good email.

Oh, and side note. So one of the sections I asked to "teach" was a section my advisor covers (and he already mentioned he was more than happy to to give away his lectures). And he just talked to me and said he'd work with whatever the class guidelines were, but that he thinks we really need to teach an entire lecture--and especially two lectures back-to-back--to really get a grasp of what it's like. Plus he asked if anyone else was interested in teaching in that section. I think he just really wants to pass off his lectures to someone else.

Five-fer Friday

2008-07-25T09:27:00.000-04:00

Ok, last week I gave you some things people have said to my face and a list of people who said them. This week I will give you who said what, and the story behind them.

"You have a good tongue"--The high school teacher. It was my high school band teacher to be exact, and he was complimenting me on my ability to play a series of short, fast notes well (thus, having a good tongue...while playing the flute). Unfortunately, he gave me this complement in front of the entire class...which included high school boys. Thus started a barrage of comments and a month or so worth of teasing.

"You play dumb beautifully"--The cute boy. This guy was seriously good looking. He actually did some modeling (mainly print stuff) for some major designers. I was talking to a friend of his. His friend kept saying something about redheads. Neither one of us was a redhead. I honestly had no clue what this guy was talking about. I kept trying to figure out what redheads had to do with anything. I guess I was naive to not realize we were having a somewhat sexual conversation dealing with the "carpet vs. drapes" thing. Actually, that conversation still leaves me confused to this day. Later, the cute boy made some comment about my conversation with his friend. I told him I had no idea what we had talked about. And he said that I played dumb beautifully. Too bad I wasn't playing.

"That is the nerdiest thing I've ever seen"--my advisor. Now, my advisor is a science geek. He really is. I had just joined the lab and we had weekly lab meetings. Back then when I cared about organization, I made a special notebook for lab meeting notes. It was just a small 3-ring binder. To decorate it, I printed a picture of Dexter (from Dexter's Laboratory) with a quote of from the show written above the top of the picture. The quote was "Today is a great day for science." I thought it was funny to have as a decoration for my lab meeting notebook. My advisor saw it and told me that was the nerdiest thing he'd ever seen. I muttered under my breath how he must not pay attention TO HIS ENTIRE LIFE. He who made glass plates for pouring gels at home (that is...he made the plates at home...not that he pours gels at home...). There is some saying about stones and glass houses that fits here nicely....

"You have book smarts...AND street smarts"--The valedictorian. Of the class ahead of me actually. He was comparing me to the valedictorian of my class (I was the salutatorian). He said the valedictorian of my class just had book smarts...but I had BOTH. I think he meant more common sense wise as opposed to, you know, being...street smart. 'Cause white girl from the 'burbs isn't very "street wise." I thought it was funny. And enjoyed him praising me over the valedictorian. I am evil like that.

"I've never met a bigger airhead in my life"--the ugly boy. So, this guy was a couple of years older than me and a kid of some friends of my parents. His family (he has 3 sisters as well as a brother) were staying at our house for a few days one summer. He spent the entire time saying mean things to my face. He also informed me that I was stupid, ugly and that I should be one of those airplane traffic people (the ones with the wandy things that direct planes) because I gesticulated ALOT when I talked, in addition to being an airhead. He seriously spent the entire time being cruel to me. So, being the self-respecting 13ish old that I was, I ignored him. I can still see the look on his face when they were leaving and he was smiling and waving bye to me and I gave him my best angry teen stare. His face fell. What did he expect? I mean, I was glad he was leaving...but good lord you just spent 4 days being an asshole to me! I always wondered if perhaps he was being mean because he liked me? I dunno...he just seemed a bit too mean for that. Anywho, I have never seen him since (I've seen all of his siblings and parents since then).

An honorable mention was not said directly to my face, but written to me in a year book. This girl seriously wrote something very close to "Nicole, At first I thought you were weird, but then I got to know you and you are really nice. Have a great summer. See you next year!"

I mean, I admire her honesty...but heh. But come on...can't I be weird and nice?

Thank you, kind sir

2008-07-23T12:08:00.002-04:00

Dear cute guy driving the BMW,

Hi. I would like to thank you for the blantant checking me out Monday afternoon. It made my day. It's nice to be driving home and have some cute guy sticking his head out the window of his car to check me out. Good times.

Thanks,
Nicole

Huh...is that right?

2008-07-21T10:24:00.004-04:00

Ok, so this weekend I was working on installment #2 of Nicole vs. Cupcake. I was making chocolate cupcakes with a strawberry chocolate ganache filling frosted with chocolate ganache and vanilla buttercream. Yes, I know.

This cupcake was just not in the cards.

First off I had a horrible time finding non-gross strawberries. As in...packages that didn't have horribly bruised--or even moldy--fruit. I finally found one that was usable.

I made the cupcakes Saturday because they needed to be fully cooled and prepped for filling before I made the filling and frosting. The cupcake batter tasted FANTASTIC! I was waiting for the cupcakes to be done, and started smelling them and went to check to see how they were doing. I turned on the light in my oven (open the door--heck no!) and to my horror the cupcakes were rising beautifully...except in the middle. I was hoping the middles were just a little behind. So I waited a bit more, checked on them again...and nope. Still sunken in the middle. I finally pulled them out to test them and they were done in the middle. They were so sad looking. I tried one later that night and it tasted delicious. So the recipe for the cupcakes is a winner...as soon as I figured out what went wrong to cause my craters.

Sunday I made the filling and the frosting. Since there wasn't any center to really cut out to fill, I decided to just combine the filling/glaze into just a puddle of chocolate to be covered in frosting. I tried a spoonful of the chocolate ganache (as much as I put onto 1 cupcake) and filled them and gave them a minute to get them set. Then I frosted it with the buttercream--which is the PERFECT basic buttercream recipe. I took my pictures and went to watch a movie.

Then...I started feeling sick.

At first I just chocked it up to an overload of sugar...although I just had the spoonful of ganache and a dollop of the frosting. But soon just the general queasiness turned into a headache and feeling serioulsy nauseated. I took some advil and ate some dinner...and that only helped a bit. But I was drinking some sweetened hot tea later that night and that was fine...so I began to think it wasn't a sugar overload.

And...I think I might have a mild chocolate allergy or something? I used some heavy-duty chocolate (like the 70% cacao stuff) for the ganache and maybe my body just cannot tolerate that much chocolate.

Even today, I woke up and had absolutely no desire to eat (I eat breakfast EVERY morning...except this morning). Thinking about that chocolate ganache makes me feel nauseated even now.

I've never been a big chocolate fan. I usually can only take it in small quantities and generally it isn't really intense stuff. Maybe my low desire for chocolate wasn't just a fluke? I don't know. I do know I'm not going to go to an allergist to get poked with stuff so they can tell me that I am mildly allergic to something.

But, with all that said...I now have about 7 cupcakes all ganached and frosted that I absolutely will not put into my mouth. And I have an aversion to let other people try my stuff without me taste testing it first. So I'm afraid I will have no deliciousness conclusion from this recipe. However, if I can ever post pictures...I will at least put those up.

And now...I think I might go puke.

Scientific Fantastic-ness...Maybe: Part 2

2008-07-18T16:43:00.003-04:00

Ok, after the meeting earlier this week about a possible major shift in my thesis (which, some experiments need to be done to see if I can make a legal turn), there was another glimmer of scientific fantastic-ness today.

So much of my data has been weird and questionable at best. Which, most scientific journals aren't looking for weird and questionable. The one part of my project that is trudging along, yet is just ho-hum, nothing terribly interesting, would get me a first author paper in Billy Bob's Journal of Science Stuff, you know, a publication, but nothing remotely wow or in that great a journal.

While looking at some of my data and comparing it to previously published stuff, there might be some novel...and INTERESTING...stuff lurking in my ho-hum data. Again, this isn't definite, right now, it's kinda 50/50 whether it is or not. But just the possibility that my ho-hum data might be a bit more interesting...I am just in research heaven.

Plus...Dateline tonight! and the weekend!

I <3 Myron Rolle, and so should you!

2008-07-18T15:55:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I am an FSU dork who anytime I see and FSU story...I read it. Good or bad.

I usually look at SI.com's photo galleries. I came across one a few minutes ago about a name I recognized--Myron Rolle--an FSU football player.

The photo gallery is of Myron's study-abroad adventures. You can see them here. They are all of the "portable dork" variety (that is, just pictures of you standing in front of something, not that Myron Rolle is a dork). And also, Myron Rolle apparently only owns FSU shirts. Heh.

There was also a link to an article by Stewart Mandel about Myron Rolle. Turns out this kid is going to finish his premed degree (yes...a premed football player!) in 2.5 years (and he currently has a 3.75 GPA). Plus FSU will most likely be nominating him for the uber-prestigious Rhodes Scholarship.

On the first page of the article, an FSU professor, Timothy Logan is mentioned. Apparently, Dr. Logan made a joke about the FSU football team in his biochemistry class...and Myron Rolle was in that class and came up to Dr. Logan after the lecture and informed him he didn't appreciate the joke. Hee! See, this is extra funny to me because I know Dr. Logan--I have been in that biochem class--I even did my undergraduate research in Dr. Logan's lab. The article also mentions that Rolle is working in Dr. Logan's lab...in addition to being a student athelete...which, when does this guy sleep?!?

Now, I must tangent a bit to get people to understand how absolutely fabulous Dr. Logan is. He is a laidback, funny guy. He's very personable and he's really a great inspiration to me. I never told him so, but that man has made a huge impact on me and on my career path. He is a phenomenal teacher--and I hope that I can eventually teach as well as he does.

I was just so tickled by this article. It's great hearing such a positive academic story about FSU football. Rolle appears to be a smart and ambitious guy. I wish him good luck and I will definately be following up on this kid in the next year to see how he does!

Five-fer Friday

2008-07-18T10:02:00.003-04:00

Today's Five-fer is a list of things people have actually said to my face. At the bottom of the list I will give a randomized listing of the people who said them. Next Friday I will say who said what and give the story behind it. But in the meantime, you can make wild assumptions! Fun, right?

"You have a good tongue"
"You play dumb beautifully"
"That is the nerdiest thing I've ever seen"
"You have book smarts...AND street smarts"
"I've never met a bigger airhead in my life"

Here are the people who said these things, in random order: the valedictorian, the high school teacher, my advisor, the ugly boy, the cute boy.

Blog Envy

2008-07-17T16:20:00.004-04:00

I got jealous.

In my futile attempts to upload photos to my blog, I notice all you other bloggers (cough, cough, DR. JOY, cough cough) seemingly posting photos with no problem.

Why?

WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I tried making the image files as wee as possible. But blogger still says no. I actually verified my email address thinking blogger was holding a grudge. Blogger says: NO!

I'm convinced it is my laptop. This vile thing. I try to be nice to it (except those times when it really annoys me and I bring the "fist of wrath" down hard onto it...what? it deserved to be punched), but it is a petulant child.

I know I cannot type my thesis on this. There is absolutely no way that is going to happen. So, hopefully in the next couple of months, I'll be spending money I so do not have and buy a new laptop. Then, when I finally graduate and get to send this lame excuse for technology falling, in a ball of fire, to its tragic demise, I won't be left laptop-less.

And maybe I'll get some more pictures posted.

I have one more thing to try and get the photos posted, but if that doesn't work, then I'm afraid no photos for you! At least until I get that new laptop.

Scientific Fantastic-ness....Maybe

2008-07-15T15:04:00.000-04:00

Another day, another failed attempt to upload pictures to blogger.

Today I had a meeting with my advisor and another committee member. We met to discuss whether or not I should take a sharp left turn with the rest of my thesis.

Our lab, the other committee member's lab, as well as published data support my preliminary data (and the left turn)...it's just that it goes against the (primarily assumed) dogma of the system I am working on.

This other committee member is more of an expert in this field, since this has been what her research has focused on, whereas me and my advisor kinda got in at the same time (so...about 4 years). This other committee member was telling me what her new hypothesis was...and I had to contain the urge to jump out of my seat and bang my fist on the table and say "you are SHITTING me!" (but in a good, excited way!)

What she was saying was something that had been rattling around in my head for about two years now. At least the basic idea of it, not necessarily eloquently stated. I thought it was just some hair-brained thought of a grad student....not something potentially scientifically sound.

It is also extra startling because me and this committee member don't always speak the same language. There have been countless times I think I am being clear and she is like "what do you mean?" And I clarify the point more...and she'll say "I don't get what you're saying." And then I get frustrated and want to beat my head against the wall. She's not mean--I don't mean to imply that at all--it's just, we don't speak the same lingo. But man...today we were on the same page.

Nothing definite has happened yet. The concensus was that the left turn is a good direction for me to go...assuming a couple more preliminary experiments go how we think they will (barring from experiments being assholes and just not working,.

It will be a TON of work to finish between now and spring graduation (and would look like graduating just in time for spring 2009 as opposed to a little late for fall 2008...), but the potential publication would be worth it.

Then my advisor would FINALLY let me go to the meeting I have been wanting to go to for 4 years and I will get eaten alive for telling all these scientist "well...your data wasn't wrong...just...not right." Heh.

PROOF!!!

2008-07-14T13:34:00.001-04:00

I am STILL having issues trying to upload photos of my cupcake making. If anyone has any hints or whatnot...PLEASE...let me know. Because anytime I hit the "upload" button....it just sits there and eventually times out.

Just to show you that I was able to upload a photo at least once...here is my dog.

She's a basset hound named Georgette. This is her best pouty face. Isn't she cute? Any shiny?

She likes: people, kitties, red dot (a laser pointer), walks, people food (not veggies), routines (trust me, she gets a little out of sorts if her routine is upset), naps, chasing people and/or kitties, hunting lizards, being a thief (I am still missing a sock...I am convinced it is buried in my parents backyard).

My parents have "temporary custody", which after 5 years, means that I will never get my dog back. My parents are too attached to her...and she has my parents wrapped around her little paw. Plus, she has spent almost all of her life at my parents house where she is free to roam inside or in the backyard as she pleases. With me, she would be confined to an apartment. So it's ok that I won't ever get her back...especially when I go home and she ignores my parents in favor of me. Heh. She knows who's boss!

My laptop sucks.

2008-07-11T09:10:00.005-04:00

Ok, while I was waiting on stuff to finish last night, I decided to work on the cupcake blog I've been threatening everyone with.

So I get it all typed up, and just needed to put the pictures in. (I had finally transferred the pictures from my camera to my laptop). But after trying 4 separate times blogger was not able to upload my photos. I'm pretty sure the reason is my laptop.

See, there is something amok with my laptop. This is terribly shocking considering that this laptop is: 5 years old, has had 3 hard drive crashes, has had the hard drive wiped clean another 2 times, has had a battery replaced, has had a fan replaced and really, wasn't that great of a laptop when it was new.

Sometime last week I got this little warning that my memory was almost full. It's not a huge hard drive and I know it will be on the fuller side...but I checked and I had less than 200MB of free disk space. Which makes your computer angry and really slow.

So I did a little housecleaning and deleted unnecessary files and uninstalled some programs I NEVER use plus moved some files that I want but never use onto my external hard drive (which is a whopping 250GB). I wound up clearing up about 7GB of space. That should be fine.

Except....

That free space I cleared up was decreasing, and it wasn't because I am adding stuff to my hard drive. I am down to a little under 3 GB of free space. I'm not sure exactly why it is doing that, but I have a sneaking suspicion what it is....it deals with my computer not being able to download Microsoft patches. So I think my computer kept trying to download the patches (several times a day) and it was somehow making some file(s) every time it tried. That's the only thing I could think of that was causing the slowly decreasing free space.

So I took it down to by BFF (best fine friends) down in the academic computer department. I told them the problem...they fixed the downloading issue. And suggested I move some of my iTunes files onto my external hard drive. Pffft. I told him he should just put one of those 80GB hard drives in my laptop instead.

I have tried again to upload the images onto blogger, but blogger is not complying. I made the picture files smaller in size. Blogger still is like "whatevs". And the whole point of the Nicole vs. Cupcake posts was to show you the pictures! Because really? How dull is "I made some cupcakes...they were good!" So dull. But..."I made some cupcakes...they were good...AND...here is a picture of them" is fantastic!

Before when I was playing with some blogger features I was able to successfully upload a picture of my dog. So I know it works. Perhaps blogger is just having some issues with stuff last night/today.

But never fear, I will try to upload the pictures again. Eventually they'll have to load...right?

Five-fer Friday

2008-07-11T08:48:00.003-04:00

I am working on my third 12-hr work day in a row. I am getting tired and worn out. Yes, I am a pansy who likes an 8 (ok...6-7) hour workday and spending a relaxing evening at home leisurely eating dinner, watching stupid television shows, having a nice long shower and reading some in bed before I actually fall asleep. But 12 hour work days automatically cut the day in half. That leaves me 12 hours for everything else...including sleep and eating two meals and basic hygiene needs. Like last night...I got home, ate dinner (standing in my kitchen) while I made my lunch for today. Then I got a shower and went to bed. 9 hours after I got home last night I am back at school. Meh. I am soooo looking forward to tonight because I won't have to go back to school for OVER 48 HOURS! Plus...Dateline! Woot.

So today's Five-fer Friday is 5 signs I Just. Don't. Care.

I am wearing the same jeans as I did yesterday. And they are jeans that I probably shouldn't wear in public in the first place(ok--to be completely honest--even if I was bright eyed and bushy-tailed I'd still wear these jeans in public...heh). But these jeans were the first ones I got to on the floor (I would have had to walk another 10 feet to get to clean jeans). I figure 3/4 of the items I am wearing are clean. So...whatever.
I didn't brush my hair this morning. I slept on it wet last night. It has weird kinks in it. At least it is clean.
I'm not sure I put on deodorant this morning. Normally I do a "check" if I am not sure(which involves me sticking my finger in my armpit and smelling to see if I can smell the deodorant....and that is the only reason I wear scented deodorants). I didn't even care to check. I took a shower last night, I'm not running a marathon or doing vigorous activity today. I won't get that smelly.
I saw this guy I have a small crush on...and due to the lack of people at school at 7:30am...he clearly saw me. If you haven't gathered from items #1-3, I'm not looking swell today. Normally I would have thought something along the lines as "well...that doesn't help for him to see me like this." But my only thought when I saw him was "meh." Today, I could care less about your existence cute boy.
Normally when I am feeling mentally and physically drained, I like to watch this particular episode of Gilmore Girls titled "The Incredible Sinking Lorelais" which, is an episode where both mother and daughter are feeling mentally/physically/emotionally drained and have little mental breakdowns. Lauren Graham's performance in the end of this episode (she plays the mom) makes me cry every time. It's a nice release. BUT...the effort of having to physically put the DVD into the DVD player feels so taxing that eh...I'll just watch Inside Edition or whatever. If I get home that early.

I don't scream so much, as ponder, for ice cream

2008-07-09T13:54:00.004-04:00

Last night, I went to the grocery store to get stuff for food this week. I have been religiously using a list as of late hoping to stop myself from buying random stuff that I will just put in my pantry/fridge/freezer for all eternity.

All I had left on my list was milk (for my morning cereal and chocolate milk). Just in my natural route I passed the ice cream section. I got to thinking I didn't have anything sweet in my apartment for when I wanted dessert (turns out...my brain was telling lies!). So I was looking at some gelato stuff. Non-traditional flavors, which interest me. Don't get me wrong, I love the basic flavors, but I only eat little bits of ice cream at a time on my own, so I feel that something not-so-normal fits the bill. But nothing I saw really said "BUY ME AND EAT ME!!!!!!" So I moved on.

Next I stood looking at the Ben and Jerry's selection. My absolute hands-down forever favorite Ben and Jerry's flavor was called "Cool Britannia". Sadly, this flavor is now a member of the flavor graveyard. It was vanilla ice cream with strawberries and chocolate covered shortbread. In high school me and a friend would go and grab a pint and eat it while we watched the boys play intramural soccer (there were no soccer teams at my high school and the school allowed this after-school league as a chance for the guys to prove to the school that there was enough interest in starting a boy's team). Yummy. The ice cream that is....not the boys, really.

As I looked there were some interesting flavors...but still nothing that said "BUY ME AND EAT ME!!!!!" Until my eyes rested on the Creme Brulee flavor (sorry...not sure how to make the accented letters). My brain said "I like creme brulee". So I bought it.

Of course when I got home and put the ice cream in the freezer I saw the remaining chocolate chip cookie dough I had made last week and froze because I was just too lazy to bake it all. So, since my cookie dough was more perishable (not chocker-box full of preservatives) I decided that it needed to be used first. But I still had to at least try the new ice cream. And it is really like creme brulee-in a carton. Fantastic.

In other news...I know I have been a bad blogger. I have all these promises of posts with pictures...and I swear...they are coming...soon...ish.

Lunch Envy

2008-07-01T14:05:00.002-04:00

For lunch today, I had a Lean Cuisine pizza that had been sitting in my freezer since who-knows-when. It was old enough that the "best by" date was three months ago. But it was buried in the bottom of my freezer, so I decided to give it a whirl. (see....I went to make myself some lunch for the next couple of days last night, and upon realizing that my bag of frozen chicken tenders were freezer burned beyond belief...I decided it's time to clean out my freezer).

The pizza was ok. I think it was fine quality-wise...it was just kinda eh. Edible, but not terribly satisfying.

Then I come back to lab where the newbie is eating some homemade chicken and dumplings...and it smells absolutely delicious.

Stupid Lean Cuisine Pizza....

Trials and Tribulations

2008-06-30T11:42:00.004-04:00

Last night I was watching the Olympic trials for some track and field events as well as some swimming events while I was waiting for my Dateline fix.

I was interested in the track and field trials because a couple of current FSU students were vying for a spot on the US Olympic team. I didn't see Michael Ray Garvin's name on any of the lists, but I might not have looked at the correct event he's running in. See, Garvin is also a football player and had permission to miss spring practice so he could train for the Olympic trials. But I did see another FSU student, Walter Dix, (because he was wearing his FSU track uniform at the trials, which most still-in-college athletes do) that did make the team in the 100m. Dix finished second to Tyson Gay, who set a record for the fastest 100m ever ran by a human...although it's not an official world record because the wind was too fast. But still...that's crazy stuff. But yay for FSU students at the Olympics!

Plus, a couple of records have already been broken in the swimming trials. Michael Phelps broke the 400 IM record (a record he had set previously, and also, Ryan Lochte, who finished second to Phelps, also finished under the old record) and Katie Hoff broke the women's record in the 400 IM as well!